During the day, I rarely bother with picking up the toys. I just don’t see the point because with the kids running around playing as soon as I put a toy away, they pull out 12 more. It is just not worth it in my eyes.
What we usually do is right before dinner, I have them pick up all the toys and throw them in the toy box. But some nights dinner is late, they are just having too much fun, I forget to ask or we are just too tired to pick up so the toys stay out.
Honestly, I don’t really care. I do like a picked up house but sometimes it is just not worth the effort. I would rather just sit down and enjoy the kids by watching a movie or reading a book with them. Toys can stay on the floor.
But there are times when the mess gets to me. There is no rhyme or reason to it but after tripping over the same toy 57 times, I just feel the need to pick up the toys.
This was one of those moments. I had kicked a truck for the last time. I had had it. The toys needed to be picked up. So I gathered an armful and began to walk to the toy box when I saw something out of the corner of my eye.
It stopped dead in my tracks.
Yup, there is was.
It was black.
It looked hairy.
It was HUGE.
And worst of all, it was a spider.
Right there in front me, hiding under a chair in my house was the biggest spider that I had ever seen. My heart began to race and my mind sped up and spilled ideas at me.
One of the good things about living in Michigan is that we don’t have many poisonous or deadly animals around but we do have Black Widow spiders and I remembered something about those spiders (or possibly an other kind of spider) stinging people and killing them but I didn’t really know for sure. But then I remember that those kind of spiders lived in the woods. Our house is in the woods. And Oh My GOD! There is a Black widow spider in my house and it is going to sting me and my children and kill us.
What in the world am I going to do?
I figured that I had two choices. I could either run away screaming my head off and hide which would cause a commotion which would alert the kids to the spider and they would come over to see it, get stung and die or I could put my big girl pants on, grab my shoe and beat the ever loving shit out of that spider until it was so dead and ground into the carpet that it could be mistaken for Oreo cookie crumbs the whole time hoping that it wouldn’t sting and kill me first.
Since I am the mother and it is my job after all to protect my children I chose the latter. I summed up all my Xena, warrior princess courage and removed my shoe. I was careful to remain clam and prayed that the spider could not sense my fear or that my wildly beating heart wouldn’t scare him away.
I steadied myself as I bent over and threw back the chair that the spider was hiding under, raised up my shoe to administer the first deadly blow when reality hit me.
This terrible, horrible, death spider was nothing but a simple toy. A toy. It belonged to one of Hayden’s animal collections.
Well, lets just say that it was a part of that collect but now it is out in our trash can never to be seen again. Because I hate spiders and there is no way I am going through that again.
But before I threw it out, I took some pictures just to prove that I am not totally crazy.
See, it could totally be a crazy, death, people eating, going the kill my children spider. You see it, right?
This post is part of Writer’s Workshop.
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{ 46 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, ick, ick, ick!!!
I can see why you almost had a heart attack! Real or not, spiders are gross…ick. I agree with you. I don’t understand why they make toys that look like real spiders and insects. It’s bad enough that our kids like playing with real ones but they have to make fake ones too. ICK!
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I hate spiders!! I would still be hitting it with a broom:-)
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OK, so you are a bit crazy! Totally looks like a toy!!! LOL!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! But that is why I love you and why you CRACK ME UP!
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EEEEEK! I hate spiders. I would have thought that was real too:)
.-= Casey´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday and Mama’s New Toy =-.
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My heart was racing! I thought it was a huge spider ! Darn toys like that should be banned!
.-= Natalie´s last blog ..How Does Your Garden Grow? =-.
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Wow! You certainly have your hands full. We’d love for you to check out our site, The Power of Moms, a wonderful place for moms to connect and learn with each other.
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Yep. I would have freaked too. Totally.
Ugh!! Trash that bugger!!
.-= CynthiaK´s last blog ..The language of poo =-.
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Oh, yeah. TOTALLY!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Cinco =-.
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I totally see that spider and I also would have thought that was real. YUCK!
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday ~ Car Washing =-.
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I totally did NOT see that one coming, but that’s pretty funny. And, totally something that I would do. I’m deathly afraid of spiders…and snakes. Creepy crawlerrrrrrrrs!
.-= Jessica´s last blog ..Giveaway: UPrinting Postcards =-.
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OMG!! that’s hilarious!! i mean, now that i know you’re safe and all…
i would have done the same thing though…why can’t boys collect safe, NORMAL stuff… like stamps or something.
.-= Alicia´s last blog ..Swimming is over rated… =-.
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My son has so many fake bug toys that I’ve become immune. If I see a huge army of insects, I’d probably keep right on going thinking they were plastic, not knowing we were really being invaded!
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Oh I see it! For that very same reason no child of mine will have a plastic snake.
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That is the grossest toy I have ever seen!
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Hooba-loobing =-.
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Eeek! This has totally happened to me. No one should make realistic toys out of something deadly. Seriously, people. Oh, and it’s happened to me with real spiders, too. There should be some kind of medal for the courage it takes to kill a spider like that while calmly saying, “It’s okay. No big deal.”
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oh my gosh, i looked at the picture before i finished reading and my heart stopped. throwing that out was such a good idea. ugh and so creepy! way to become Xena the warrior princess
.-= amy´s last blog ..Shoes? Who likes shoes? =-.
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That is so funny!!!!
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Eek!! I give you credit for even allowing it in your house! I have a no bugs and no snakes rule…just in case.
And, last night, a spider was scuttling casually across my hallway. I have no Xena genes and promptly screamed like a little girl until DJ came to my rescue and killed it. I hate spiders thinking they can be in my house!
.-= Stacy @ Moderate Means´s last blog ..Results of the BRCA test =-.
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I’m glad that sucker wasn’t real!
.-= angie´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday & My Beauties =-.
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OMG, I can just SEE you with your shoe, all ready to deliver the spider smack-down of the century! That is one freaky toy!
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Spiders are GROSS and evil and I would have beaten the toy one just for freaking me out. Though I am letting a small spider live under my kitchen cabinets in the hopes that it will eat the ants that have taken up residence in my kitchen.
.-= Rebekah´s last blog ..Mama Kat’s Writers Workshop: Ode to my Bra =-.
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wow –not something I would have thought of for a toy..I’m indifferent to them.
.-= Julie@my5monkeys´s last blog ..100 Words about Me =-.
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Yikes! I see it!
.-= Jeanette@Bliss´s last blog ..Dirty laundry… =-.
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I would have gotten out a can of cleaning product and sprayed the hell out of that thing. While standing on a chair, halfway across the room. Just a little tip. You’re welcome. Then, of course, you would have just had a very clean, plastic spider in the trash. But in case of the real thing, it works.
I HATE those insect toys. They freak me out and why are they always left in some crazy spot that makes them look real. GOD FORBID I ever find one lurking in my toilet.
.-= Stefanie´s last blog ..a letter to my future daughters-in-law =-.
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Goodness, you warned that it was a toy and I sill gasped and half jumped out of my seat. I have been there too many times, unfortunately when I find out what it really is it is not a fake spider, but something more sinister (usually a clump of hair or something), lol. Totally justified and I LOVE your blog!
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Whoa – that spider looks really realistic, and would definitely give me a panic attack at finding it in my home and having to dispose of it.
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You are not crazy; that spider would have fooled me, too! Yikes!
.-= Ginny Marie´s last blog ..Lovin’ Our Local Library! =-.
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On my heck, I still would have beat it with my shoe and then thrown it out too! what a big ugly thing!
.-= Ashley´s last blog ..Hai =-.
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I would have been right there with you ready to beat the snot out of it. That is not a fun toy! I used to work at Michael’s Arts and Crafts some years ago, and at Halloween they were selling all kinds of things to decorate with for Halloween including rubber COCKROACHES!! They were about an inch and a half long and looked bloody real! I could barely look at them. They were individually packaged –thank God!–and I would literally turn them over so I didn’t have to see the disgusting “decoration.” Well one time, I was happily conversing with a customer as I rang up her order, and before I knew it, I had one those nasty roach things in my hands–still in its package–and right there at my register, in front of God and everybody I screamed and threw that sucker about 3 or 4 feet in the air. And I KNEW they were fake. Haha.
.-= Lourie´s last blog ..What the Future Holds… =-.
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Jen Reply:
May 13th, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Thanks for sharing that story with me, totally made me laugh out loud.
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Haha! I’ve definitely had those moments. Back when airport security wasn’t what it is today, you know…pre 9-11, my son brought an interesting looking friend on a flight. It was a 5 foot long rubber snake. It caused quite a commotion among passersby and the stewardesses as well. It was an even bigger deal because we lived in Hawaii where snakes aren’t indigenous and only make it there illegally. Needless to say, many people had borderline heart attacks thanks to that stupid snake. And I’m happy to report that he was forced to ride in the carry-on on the return flight. lol
Great post! Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my Writer’s Workshop post. Yours gave me quite a laugh. Have a great day.
Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
@TweetingMama
.-= Kristi {at} Live and Love…Out Loud´s last blog ..Yo Gabba Gabba – I Just Don’t Get It =-.
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Jen Reply:
May 13th, 2010 at 8:13 pm
Wow, a fake snake on a plane!? I totally would have freaked out. If there is one thing that I hate more than spiders it is snakes.
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oh my, it does look real. no wonder you were all ready to do your xena battlecry…
.-= cheri´s last blog ..the day after =-.
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OMG!!!!! I would have totally freaked out!!!!!
.-= Becky´s last blog ..Dirty Little Secrets…. =-.
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Eww, yuck! That spider looks so realistic, it’s terrifying! If my kids ever have toys that resemble snakes or insects, they are promptly, if discreetly, thrown in the trash. I can’t handle those heart-stopping moments of thinking it’s a real bug.
Unfortunately, we live in the country, so we do have huge spiders occasionally. One time, I saw one in the garage that resembled one of those black plastic Halloween spider rings. My heart started beating fast, and then I thought: that must be one of those ugly rings. And then it moved. Awful, awful experience.
.-= Mrs.Mayhem´s last blog ..The Killing Machine =-.
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That is the worst toy EVER! My worst nightmare!
.-= Stacey´s last blog ..Shh! Don’t tell them I’m here! =-.
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I am laughing with you. I tried to kill a rubber snake in the yard once.
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GIRL! I would have screamed worthy of a freakin’ horror movie. WHO BOUGHT THAT THING???
Ewww.
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Before I read that it was a toy, I was going to say that vacuum cleaners work really well at sucking up those… those… CREATURES! You have a big machine and a lot of noise between you and that ugly spider, so you’ll be safe. Also, one look at that thing and my son would’ve passed out cold.
Thanks for the good read!
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I could totally see this happening to me!!
.-= Jenners´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop: The Book Blurb for "Chocoholic" =-.
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Ewww. This is why I don’t allow plastic snakes and lizards in the house. I get too freaked out.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..The best robe ever. =-.
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That would have freaked me out too! It looks real. So glad it wasn’t and yes good call on throwing it away. We always clean jp before bed time.. Right before dinner is just way too crazy of a time for me to even think about cleaning.
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When I lived in Mi, I HATED the spiders of like every color of the rainbow I would find in my apartment!
And I am so terrified of spiders that I couldn’t even look at your pics! haha
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Leggo my Lego =-.
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Seriously, I would have freaked right the fuck out if I had seen that thing! It is way too realistic! I think the best spot for that thing is the trash. Oops, sorry Hayden, mommy doesn’t know what happened to your spider.
.-= Carabee´s last blog ..All Thumbs Thursday – Spring =-.
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Oh, I despise spiders! I would have had the same reaction, freaked out, and probably screamed a little too!
.-= Tina @ Ride On Toys´s last blog ..Step2 Recalls 2.5 Million Ride on Toys for a Design Flaw =-.
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I would have FREAKED the fudge out… I SO don’t like toys like that… especially when they can be mistaken for real!
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OMG there should be a law that those things have to be painted bright orange, like the tip of the toy guns. ha ha
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..Coming Clean =-.
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Ha ha ha!!! I totally see it. I would have put a glass over that sucker and called my husband, that’s how real it looks to me.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Little Tikes Picnic Table Review =-.
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