The kids were especially crazy on the ride home.
The van always seems like a place for them to go verbally wild, probably because they are strapped in and talking at Jeff and I is the only thing that they can do.
This drive though, they were acting like they all had huffed Kool Aid and took a shot of sugar before we left.
I am not sure why I choose this time as I parked in our garage to give out a lecture on listening to each other but I did and as you can imagine, it didn’t go so well.
“Jake, my motorcycle has three seats,” Claire said.
“Lalalalala dumbdeedumbdeedumb ahhhhh!” Jake sang back at her completely in his own world.
“Jake! What did your sister say?” I said butting in, “she is trying to talk to you.”
“Huh?” Jake said, ” Something about princesses?!”
I rolled my eyes and gave up because this was totally not the time since as I was trying to teach this lesson, Hayden began scooting around on the van floor like a dog cleaning his butt.
And Quinn bless his heart was just waiting for permission to get out of the crazy van.
Its time like these Jeff will playfully argue with me about how our kids are not his.
“Your kids are crazy,” Jeff said as we walked into the house.
“Alright, everyone upstairs to get your jammies on,” I yelled at the kids and then turning towards Jeff, I said, “My kids? These are totally your kids.”
“Yeah, that is what you keep telling me,” Jeff playfully countered.
“Really?!” I said looking at him while I pulled sippy cups out of the drawer, “They are all totally yours. I didn’t make them by myself.”
He looked at me thougthfully as I made chocolate milk.
“Well, you sorta did,” he said.
“What?!” I screeched at a pitch that made a neighborhood dog howl.
I was half insulted, half curious about what he was going to say but as he walked to the desk drawer and pulled out a calculator, I was totally confused.
“Well, think about it. When the kids were made, it only took me about a minute, minute and a half ,to leave my deposit. Bam! My part done. Then it took you…” he said pausing to calculate, “413, 280 minutes to make Hayden and then 342,720 minutes to make the triplets.”
I stood there dumbfounded. What was I suppose to say to that?
He did after all have a point.
As the kids bounced down the stairs asking for their milk, telling us what movie they wanted to watch and Jake telling us about the adventures of his cousin Iron Man, my brain stopped formulating a come back and just began to slip into the comfortable roll of mommy.
As I handed out sippy cups, I suddenly stopped at smiled at Jeff and said, ”Since I did all the hard work making these kids and you just made a ‘deposit’, I am going to need a break probably till next Tuesday.”
And with that I grabbed some wine and headed to the bed room to rest.
I am exhausted, after all, from the totally long time it took me to make all those kids.