Was it a Chicken or a Turtle that Crossed the Road?

I have my moments when I go out of my comfort for my kids. I was once driving down the road and I saw a turtle trying to cross the street. I knew that my kids would LOVE to have a turtle so I tried to figure out a way to get the turtle into my car without touching it. I even tried to psych myself up enough to actually touch it because it was for my kids and I do love them but I just couldn’t do it.

I know, I know bad mom. But I was all dressed up in my good clothes with heels on and I didn’t want to get any turtle juice or what have you on me. Plus, I was kind of scared. I mean what if it was a snapping turtle and it bit my finger off or worse peed on my dress? So I just drove by the turtle never to think of it again.

But as I left my parents house the other day, I again saw a turtle in the road and this time all the kids were with me. I quickly stopped the van and told the kids of the turtle in the middle of the road. The were all super excited and I was happy inside because I was doing something that might make the kids forget all the earlier yelling.

Once the kids were all unbuckled, we walked to the turtle but the close we got I started to wonder if it was alive or even a turtle. Awesome.  I got my kids all excited about a turtle that might not be a turtle and may be dead here in the middle of the road.

The closer and closer we got the the ‘turtle’ I become convinced that it in fact was not a turtle and whatever it was was really, really dead.

“Mom?” Hayden said, “That’s not a turtle.”

No sh*t, mister obvious, I thought to myself but he was right of course.

The ‘turtle on the road was actually a bird. A bird that appeared to have gotten hit by a car and then run over a few times. Upon seeing the tragedy, Claire began to cry and Jake and Hayden tried to pick it up.

I quickly ushered now, three crying kids back to the car and away from the dead bird. The little kids were really upset that there was no turtle. Clarie was sobbing and screaming, “Yucky!” Jake and Quinn demanded to see the turtle and told me that I had, “trick me, mommy, trick me!” and Hayden, he kept talking about how cool the dead bird was and that he thought he saw its brains on the road.

Great, I had taken my kids from promises of seeing a turtle to years of therapy by showing them a dead and mangled bird instead. Fabulous.

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  1. That is hilarious….but so traumatic at the same time…..totally something that would happen to me.

    Have I ever told you about the coyote that swiped my MILs weiner dog right in front of my kids??? Many years of therapy ahead of them thats for sure….
    .-= Momma´s last blog ..Learning Process =-.

  2. Hehehehehe. Evil laugh reading this. My kids get a huge kick out of dead things. Me? Notsomuch.
    .-= tulpen´s last blog ..Back When Nothing Was Lurking In The Shadows. =-.

  3. Jaci @ Ravings of a Mad Housewife says:

    Where do you live, Jen? Turtles cross the road? Around here (Pittsburgh) the only things that cross the road are deer, skunks, raccoons, and an occasional river rat.

    Don’t laugh at those rats. I’ve mistaken those suckers for DOGS. Freakin’ huge.
    .-= Jaci @ Ravings of a Mad Housewife´s last blog ..Killing Her Softly =-.

  4. My mom was taking us home when we were just a little older than your kids and she thought she hit a turtle. I remember just after impact she goes, “did anyone sh*t their pants?” lol When we got home it was a turtle dove.
    .-= S Club Mama´s last blog ..weekend update =-.

  5. Michelle says:

    Oh no! I could see my kids having similar reactions.

  6. That is a fabulous story! I almost picked up a turtle the other day that was in the middle of the road. I wasn’t planning on keeping it, I just wanted to escort it to safety. My mom was with me though and informed me that the turtle was a snapping turtle… I therefore stayed in the car.
    .-= Melissa´s last blog ..seven years. =-.

  7. Oh no worries. You can use this for good, you know. Any time your kiddos get close to the road, in danger, just yell, REMEMBER THE BIRD-YOU DON’T WANT TO BE LIKE THE BIRD DO YOU???

    Traumatizing? Maybe. But it works like a charm :)
    .-= Heather of the EO´s last blog ..Moooo. Peeew. =-.

  8. Do you need glasses?


    I need visual aids. I am dying over here to see how this mangled bird looked like a turtle.

    Hilarious story even with the traumatic nature of it.

    .-= Lee of MWOB´s last blog ..Mama’s Got A New 4-Letter Word =-.

    • Well, the tail was sticking straight up and looked just like the head of a turtle. And well, there were feathers sticking out and well… ok maybe when I think about it more, it really didn’t look like a turtle at all. *sigh*

  9. He he. Sorry, I’m laughing but… uh… it’s funny. 😀
    .-= Elaine´s last blog ..Almost a Year… =-.

  10. Okay I am sorry but this is pretty dang funny. Your poor kids, glad none of them picked up the bird.
    .-= Emmy´s last blog ..The Feeding Tube (1 month) =-.

  11. Ooh, a mangled bird brain experience that they’ll probably never forget! Must have been a big bird to mistake it for a turtle! Too funny!
    .-= Tina @ Ride On Toys´s last blog ..The Five Person Pedal Surrey Is Fun For The Entire Family =-.

  12. That is pretty funny. Even though at the time I am sure you felt like an ass. See, you should just not try and do nice/fun things for the kids. It just backfires!
    .-= Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation´s last blog ..Whine-a-Palooza =-.

  13. Oh, no! That’ll teach ya to be adventurous! Even before I read it was a bird, I thought, oh, no, turtle flu! Don’t catch it!
    .-= Kristy´s last blog ..Daddy Anxiety =-.

  14. LOL.

    When we lived in Missouri, we used to get turtles in our backyard all the time. They were mean little suckers. Be grateful it was a dead bird!
    .-= Megan´s last blog ..Off to the Fair =-.

  15. Susie's Homemade says:

    We all do things that make our kids going screaming to therapy:-)

  16. I totally think I hit that bird on the way to pick you up the other day!!!! LOL!! So sorry little birdie and Jen’s family!

  17. oh no!!! better a dead bird than the huge deer carcass we had in our front yard for days after some guy hit it and it got thrown into our ditch. *blech!* Road Commission never came out so hubby had to man up and drag the thing back to the woods and bury it. I totally felt bad he had to do that but he was my hero at the same time. I could have NEVER done that – I could barely look at it as I pulled out of the driveway.
    .-= Barbara Manatee´s last blog ..Cousins & Twinkies =-.

  18. LOL. Well, they may need therapy, but you did try for them. :)
    .-= Kelly Deneen´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Jesus, tomatoes, and my peeps =-.

  19. Oh my! At least I don’t have to worry about making that mistake! There are definitely no turtles crossing the road in Utah!
    .-= Honey Mommy´s last blog ..A Photo A Day: Week 23 : Summertime =-.

  20. Running over a turtle is a bit like running over a rock, a large one.

    Not that I ever ran OVER a turtle, but just letting you know for future reference!
    ; )
    .-= Katie´s last blog ..Lawn Mowing 101 =-.

  21. Texan Mama says:

    I love how your stories are just so original. Never a boring day around there, eh?
    .-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..Some Things Just Suck =-.

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