The Man-Child Cold

It took 3 weeks for the germ-y cesspool that is school to infect my children with a cold.

And honestly, I am surprised that it took that long.

I guess the fact that my children strengthen their immune systems regularly by licking door knobs, rolling around on public restroom floors and refusing to wash their hands with soap might be paying off.

When school hits and the weather turns a touch colder, the germs come a knocking.

Getting a cold is just part of life and if one kid gets sick, they all will get sick.

I could probably stop this by keeping more than one straw in the house that the kids all share to drink their smoothies in the morning but our local McDonald’s is onto my tricks.  Only they, hands me the straws that I need now instead of letting me grab a handful or emptying the bin into my purse to take home.

Claire was the one to bring the virus home and it effected her with a runny nose and cough but then it completely took her voice away. For a little girl, we likes to talk and tell stories, yes she gets this from me, this was torture. In a house of very loud boys, a whisper yell does not go very far.

Yes, I am speaking from experience here.

It wasn’t long before Hayden was sick then Quinn and finally Jake.

Lord, help us when Jake gets sick.

You know the expression ‘man cold’.

If you don’t, the Urban Dictionary says:

The name ‘man cold’ disguises the true terrible, debilitating disease that is the man cold. Nearly all men will die from man colds unless they are administered immediately with large amounts of mindless TV such as daytime TV, or children’s cartoons. It is essential that they not move from bed or a comfy sofa to allow for rehabilitation, and must have tissues and man cold medicine (such as chocolate biscuits, McDonald’s, or a nice cup of tea) brought to them constantly by a nearby female.

A man-cold is horrible and you might think there is nothing worse but unfortunately, there is. The only things worse than a ‘man cold’ is a ‘man-child cold’.

I consider myself pretty lucky that I live with a husband who when he gets sick, he pretty much just sucks it up and keeps going. He doesn’t suffer from your typical ‘man cold’. He will got to work, take cold medicine and just carry on.

This is probably because once when the triplets were babies, we all were sick including Jeff and I and the only thing we could do was forge through. The two of us needed to keep taking care of the kids. There was no time for moping or ‘woe is me’… we just had to snort cold medicine and take care of three small babies who couldn’t figure out why their bodies wouldn’t let them breath.

No, the only thing annoying when Jeff gets a cold is that sometimes, he refuses to go to bed early which usually prolongs the cold and makes him more miserable.

I am sorry but making dumb choices is not they best way to get sympathy from me.

But when Jake gets a cold.

Oh my word… hold the phone and stop the presses! The world as we know it is ending and he is dying. He is mopey and becomes helpless and pretty much believes that life as he knows it is over.

Or at least that what I gather from some of the things he says to me.

Can’t do it, mommy. I just can’t.

I need a new library book to make me feel better.

My tummy hurts but eggs with ham and yellow, not white, cheese for breakfast will make me feel better.

I can’t brush my teeth, they have a cold too.

My cold keeps me from walking that fast, you’d better carry me.

Pains! They pains of my cold are all over my body and back and then down the road.

I need you to do it *fake cough… fake cough… fake cough cough cough*

Mommy, I am too sick to hold my penis to pee, that is why there is pee on the floor.

Ice cream and suckers are the only thing that will make my froat feel better.

My teacher says that I need to lay on the couch, watch TV AND play the DS… that is how a sick person gets better.

Oh my stars, it’s horrible.

Until, I suggest he go to bed and take a nap. Then magically, he gets better and goes out to play.