It’s good to be thankful for things.
It’s also good to write thank you notes for things, a practice that has kind of been lost in our technology heavy society.
But I want to try and be a good example.
So I thought I’d write some thank you notes… you know, Jimmy Fallon style.
Dear Inside Edition,
Thank you for airing the story about the man who’s whole lawn turned from green to brown and died because he used fertilizer wrong. I don’t know what my life would be like if I didn’t know about this. I realize I could have changed the channel if I was uninterested but the remote was across the room. Also, aren’t you supposed to be reporting on celebrity sex habits?
Dear Children,
Thank you first of all for being huge babies and making it so that I can’t sneeze without pissing my pants but also for pointing out that my tummy is big and squishy on a daily basis. You make me want to wear three pairs of Spanax at a time and I am sure I won’t be able to breath is a do this and breathing is good, also this might illegal is some states.
Dear People I Live With,
Thank you for walking past the items that I put on the stairs. You know, I put them there because they need to be put away upstairs not because I am trying to test your balance by making some hazards on the stairs for you to step on, over and around. And trust me, you are just as able to put said things away as I am.
Dear Person Parking this Truck,
Thank you for making my parking job look good.
Dumbass.
Dear Criminal Minds,
Thank you for playing a nice piano solo during the beginning of the episode. I rather enjoyed it. There was a this cute little boy plays and then… Oh My Gawd! He was killed, blood spray every where. You have ruined piano music for me.
Dear Former Hospital Patient,
Thank you for being a patient in the hospital where I work. And thank you for calling in to tell us how we failed you but I didn’t need to hear your whole life story and how your husband left you on Christmas morning and how your daughter was assaulted and now part of a big murder trial all to know that you were unhappy with the prescription the doctor gave you. You took 43 minutes of my life… I want them back.
Dear Cats,
Thank you for liking the wet cat food that I buy for you. I like feeding it to you because cats like meat. But while I am making dinner is not the time you get to eat. You get to eat when the family sits down to dinner so you don’t need to continually be under my feet and tap my shoe to remind me to feed you. Trust me, I know.
Dear Person Driving the Car,
Thank you for driving into my lane almost causing a head on collision with me. I needed some new underwear… by the way, you owe me a new pair or two of underwear.
Dear Readers,
Thank you. You know, for reading and stuff. What did you think that I was going to say you did something I didn’t like about you? Nah, I am writing Thank you notes, after all.
This post is part of Writer’s Workshop
HAHA! I love the letter to your children. I pee a little every time I sneeze. Damn those big babies!
So you know the pain of big babies? I am glad they were big and healthy but really? What did my bladder every do to them? *sigh*
Thank you notes in sarcasm always make me feel better
Oh me too!
Love these. Jimmy Fallon always cracks me up with his too.
Some people don’t even TRY to park right I’ve noticed.
I’ve seen a parking job worse than that. If I could post a picture of it here, I would. =) I’ll post it on my blog if you wanna take a look.
I love this! I want to do this too!
It’s good for the soul to say thank you even if the thank yous are laced with sarcasm.
I did this prompt also, vlog style though, and thought it was funny until I read yours. Nice! When my cat is hungry she will literally bite my ankles as I walk around the kitchen and she won’t stop biting until I feed her. Mean kitty.
I liked your vlog… it was awesome.
And I am now thankful my cats don’t bite me… apparently they have not figured this defense out yet. I just step on them.
I totally expected a personal thank you note to me for being so inspiring to you. It’s only 9:06 and my day is already a disappointment.
Dear Ali,
Thank you for being awesome and so inspiring to me.
Love, Jen
Happy now?
Love these!
The one on the hospital patient reminded me of the collection calls I used to have to make when I worked for a finance company. I had to learn how to be mean and cut people off. Once a man started preaching to me and reading me scripture over the phone when I called to ask about his late mortgage payment!
Trust me, I tried to cut this woman off… I really did but she was one of those people who can’t take a hint. Like if I would have hung up on her, she would have called me back to continue.
Yes the pee thing really gets me. WHo has time to deal with THAT when we’re busy dealing with everyone else’s crap? Literally.
Great thank you notes. I think the world would be a lot more fun if people actually sent Thank you notes like these.
HA! That photo cracks me up!
This was too funny. I added you to my reader…….and that is no easy thing to get me to do when you aren’t giving away some awesome prize I can’t live without. Just sayin. Found you at Mama Kats.
Well thank you, I am honored and I will try to make you laugh or smile each time I post.
Inside edition sure seems to have changed since I last saw it. Glad you didn’t get in a wreck! That sounds scary. I like your letters
I thought this was the most challenging of the prompts this week. Nicely done! kaye—the road goes ever ever on
I made the mistake of reading your blog post while in the full waiting room at the doctor’s office. Everyone looked at me like I lost my marbles as I laughed
You should have just shared my blog with them. You want me to send you some of my card so that you can pass them out to people so they know why you are laughing?
First of all…the music that plays while Jimmy writes his Thank You notes was playing in my head through this whole thing.
Second, the inside edition thing? RIGHT??? I was wondering the same thing! more of naked prince Harry! Less dead lawn! COME ON!