As a mother, there are many things that I hear from my children on a daily basis. There are some things I like hearing and some that I don’t like hearing.
I have compiled a list of my top ten most annoying things that I have heard (this week).
1. “I have to go potty.” – I don’t have a problem with my kids needing to use the potty, what I have a problem with is that this statement is usually said five minutes after we left the place with the bathrooms and there is not another one around for 80 miles.
2. “I peed.” – When I hear this statement that usually means, I’m gonna be doing more laundry and I’m gonna have to unmake and remake a bed which is more difficult than wrestling a wet alligator.
3. “Can I have tape, glue and string and bring them into my room?” - This usually means I am going to find one of the kids taped up to the wall with string glued to them and tape ruins the paint on the walls.
4. “My eyes just don’t like staying closed in the middle of the night?” - This is almost as bad as “Can I get up now?” and both mean that my sleeping is interrupted by a some little person at an ungodly hour.
5. “Do I have a sexy booty?” – Nothing will strike fear in the heart of a mother or cause her brain to work faster than hearing a five year old child say the word ‘sexy’. And like a good mother, I avoided the question by offering candy as a distraction.
6. “I was trying to be careful.” – Something important just broke, something nice is ruined and I remember that when you have children, you can’t have nice things.
7. “Why do you have bunch of rocket toys in that drawer?” – Because, I want to and I’m the mom. That is all I say about that.
8. “There is cat puke downstairs, on the carpet, on the wall, on the couch.” – Cat puke is gross. We live with bulimic cats. I make Jeff clean it up.
9. “Can I use your phone?” – Recent events with my daughter trying to post naked pictures of me to Instagram have made me very skiddish on this request. It’s my phone and I don’t want to share it. Also I don’t need 50 new game apps downloaded because a kid gets click happy.
10. “Can we have candy?” – Well, you see… I hate this because then I have to admit that I ate all the candy.
Now you add something. What annoying things do you not enjoy hearing from your children?