Funny part? My son’s name is Java (he’s 6). He thinks it’s GREAT that I order something he thinks is named after him. My daughter (she’s 4) on the other hand, once asked the drive thru lady if they had any ‘Chloe coffees’. Poor thing.

Shoul’ve named her double-double, I guess.

First start with the size- Short (like a kid’s size, about 6 oz), Tall, Grande or Venti
Next tell how many/what kind of shots you want- A short and a tall have 1, a Grande and Venti have 2. This is kinda silly because a venti is 20 oz while a grande is 16, which basically means that with a venti you’re paying for more milk, not espresso, so you’re better off adding a shot (making it a triple).
Ex: I’d like a Grande mocha (2 shots of regular caff espresso) or I’d like a triple grande mocha (3 shots of espresso) or a Grande half caff- (one shot of regular, one shot of decaf) or of course, a grande decaf (two shots of decaf espresso)

Then move on to the milk- Non-fat, soy, organic etc… Most Starbucks drinks are made with either whole or 2% milk, if you want that, then skip and move on…

Starbucks drinks are made at 160 degrees, if you want it tepid ask for 150 or 140 (the temp of a kids hot chocolate) or if you’re like me and like it the temperature of the sun, ask for 190 degrees

Finally if your drinks are too sweet just ask them to halve the pumps of pumpkin, mocha, vanilla or peppermint syrup. I could get into how many pumps of syrup each get but it’s too confusing.

Or if you order the same thing everytime, your order in Starbucks speak is:
Grande, non-fat, no whip, 2 pump peppermint white chocolate mocha at 150 degrees.

Hope this helps!