I think that one of the most dreaded tasks of any mother is making phone calls, especially while the kids are round. For me, its not that I don’t know what is going to happen, its because something is going to happen. The kids can be fine and nicely playing but put a phone to my ear and then they suddenly need something or they get themselves stuck between the couch and the wall.
So I have given up. I just don’t do anything different any more when I need to make a phone call. It is impossible to make the kids be quiet. I can’t even go into another room and close the door any more because they can open doors. No where is safe.
When I am talking to an actually person, I just have to say that I have two year old triplets and then they seem to instantly understand. And if they don’t get it, I just try and apologize for the noise and power through the phone call.
This seems to work just fine, expect for when I am on the phone with an automated attendant with voice recognition. Then the conversation is a little more challenging and goes a little something like this.
Phone: Hello, and thank you for call. Please state your name.
Me: Jenni…
Kids: Mooooooom!
Phone: I am sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
Me: (trying to talk more quickly) Jennifer
Phone: Thank you, Jennifer. Now what are you calling about? Service? Billing?
Kids: Ahhhhhhhh!!!
Phone: I am sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
Me: (running into a quiet room and accidentally slamming the door.)
Phone: I am sorry, I didn’t understand that. I will take you back to the main menu.
Me: (Damnit!)
Phone: Please state your name.
Me: Jennifer
Phone: Ok, Jennifer. Please tell me what I can do for you today. Do you want to pay your bill? Transfer service?
Kids: (banging loudly on the door) Mooooooooommmeeeeey!
Phone: I am sorry, I didn’t understand that. Let’s go back to the main menu. Please state your name.
Me: But I didn’t even say anything. Its the kids. My kids are making noise. Let me talk to a person.
Phone: I am sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
And on and on this went. Finally, I just hung up the phone. I was so frustrated with the automated attendant and my children that I no longer cared if someone was making fraudulent charges on my credit card.
I couldn’t stand it a minute longer. So what if someone was talking all my money. I figured I could deal with that but if I went all postal on the automated attendant, that would be a little more difficult to explain.
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{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I never thought about the distractions being coupled with automation! Peace be with you, my dear!
.-= blueviolet´s last blog ..Hooligan? Uh-huh. =-.
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I hate the automated answering service…I usually just say “representative” over and over until I am transferred to a real person.
.-= Lauren´s last blog ..Happy 3rd Birthday! =-.
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What is it about the telephone and kids? They learn at such an early age that this is their opportunity to misbehave. I hate it.
Elijah is almost twelve, and though he’s not coloring on the walls or anything wild while I’m on the phone, he invariably needs something RIGHT NOW as soon as the receiver hits my ear.
Grrrr…
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Oh they should ban those automated things. Here, we have 11 languages, 11 accents – inevitably sometimes the freeking thing does not understand what you say in any event.
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Just push “zero” that’s what I do. I hate automated crap like that. And yes, it’s all hard to talk on the phone with kids. Ugh.
.-= S Club Mama´s last blog ..when will it end?? =-.
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I can’t stand automated phone systems. They are truly one of Mother’s worst enemies. Ugh.
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Bloggy Boot Camp Baltimore – Sneak Peek =-.
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I never understood why my friends with kids would just talk through the chaos that was obviously happening right under their feet. Until I had one of my own.
Great picture, btw.
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Those automated things are the worst!!
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Seriously what is it with the phone and the kids suddenly needing and getting into everything!! I have found myself running through the house trying to get away for just two minutes so I could finish the call without kids screaming right by my feet
.-= Emmy´s last blog ..The Pressure Builds =-.
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I hate the automated systems. It is impossible to talk to a real person. It makes me mad every time even without screaming kids.
When I call someone around our son he just starts screaming until you give him the phone. It makes for short calls.
.-= Otter´s last blog ..Professional Blogger =-.
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I just keep saying “F***ing Human Being” repeatedly until I actually get one.
.-= cristin´s last blog ..Effing. Nice. =-.
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Jen Reply:
March 8th, 2010 at 2:04 pm
I had no idea that would work. Totally going to try that next time.
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Oh yeah, I can’t even imagine trying to make a phone call with 3 of them running around! My husband just speaks garbled words until the automaton says, “Let me transfer you to an operator.”
.-= heidi´s last blog ..Dirty Little Secret =-.
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I think Cristin has the right idea.
It never fails… the minute you get on the phone, is the minute the kids want your attention.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..I ought to make her pay for my next visit to the hair salon. =-.
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I hate those automated things. I usually scream, “GET ME A HUMAN BEING!” over and over again.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Things That Make Me Go Huh =-.
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Our bank is like that! I can never get our damn balance LOL
I did figure out (after being at the bank for YEARS) that if I press *8 they’ll let me type in my account info instead of saying it.
.-= Jayme´s last blog ..I am a quitter. =-.
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Jen Reply:
March 8th, 2010 at 2:05 pm
It’s amazing what you learn. Until this post, I didn’t know that I could just say ‘human’ and it would send me to one.
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I get frustrated with those automated systems and my son doesn’t even talk yet! I usually press ‘0′ until I finally get to talk to someone. Haha!
.-= Laura´s last blog ..Busy Weekend =-.
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Oh yeah….hate it when that happens. My son is learning “EXCUSE ME!!” which he yells. And that doesn’t even work. He’ll say excuse me and then start talking, whether I’ve acknowledged him or not! I’m just hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel for all this parenting hell we go through….
.-= Katie @ Why Bother´s last blog ..I Still Had Hope For Amber =-.
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That’s when I scream “AGENT” into the phone. With all of the phone calls I seem to have to make each day – it’s a constant issue, and I’ve learned that if you say “agent” or “operator” you are more likely to get a person on the line.
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Oh, I haaaaaaaaaaaate those automated voice thingies!!! I feel like a total tool speaking my answers. I always prefer to push a button. Sometimes I just push 0 just to bypass the system…it almost always works.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..This is Why I Don’t Post Craft Projects On My Blog =-.
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This is exactly why I avoid the phone like the plague.
How was Bloggy Bootcamp?
.-= angie´s last blog ..{A little letter to my laptop} =-.
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I can so imagine this!! You did a good job getting it all down. I just press 0 like a madwoman trying to get a live person when things don’t go well with those machines.
.-= Jenners´s last blog ..Wanna Play A Game? Song Title Stories =-.
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So glad I stumbled on to your blog! Just Fabulous! Looking forward to reading more!
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How true-to life is this. You can also add in the heavily accented representative who cannot understand you because of all the noise and whom you cannot concentrate on deciphering because of the same…
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OMG, Jen…same thing happens here too! How funny…I should’ve known you experience the same thing since our kids have very similar personalities!
I got so frustrated one day and I was complaining to Tim about it and he goes, “Why don’t you just hit 0 for the operator right in the beginning?”….oh yeah, cuz that stuff doesn’t dawn on me when I have 4 kids screaming in the background.
.-= Helene´s last blog ..For the seafood lover in you…. =-.
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Jen Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 8:27 am
Well, I guess we both learned something. No more automation for us.
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This is why I pretty much don’t bother making calls when my daughter is around. It is always disastrous. Like some of the other comments, I have found that saying “help” repeatedly seems to get a live person.
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Oh yeah… I can’t tell you how many times an automated voice has told me “I can’t understand you” because my 3 year old son decided to start screeching or banging toys right as I got on the phone! (Of course my 13 and 8 year old daughters will still walk up to me and start talking like I’m not holding a phone to my ear, either…!)
.-= Three Times The Fun´s last blog ..Of Fate And Stomach Viruses =-.
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I have such a seething hatred for those automated things, it’s probably not healthy. You can FART and they pick it up!
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Jen Reply:
March 9th, 2010 at 8:28 am
A fart, huh!? That is some seriously loud farting.
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Mom + Phone + Kids = Mass Hysteria. And like all math problems, it’s the same every time. I usually end up missing the next prompt so I have to guess or make them…IT repeat the entire menu. NO wonder we all hate making calls. We don’t get to talk to a human being!
.-= Lourie´s last blog ..Dancing With The Stars =-.
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love the image at the end…so appropriate!!
.-= Barbara Manatee´s last blog ..Future Olypmic Competitor? =-.
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How come is it that when you pick up a phone the kids go nuts? They need you right then. LOL I told someone once that I think it is a gene that we outgrow as we grow older. Well, most of us anyways! Hope you get that all straightened out with your card! It was awesome getting to meet you this weekend btw!
.-= Brandi´s last blog ..Direct Sat TV…providing satellite tv for your business =-.
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