A Serious Car Conversation

The whole family was in the munch-kin-mobile (as one of my friends calls my van) there was a rare quiet moment and Hayden suddenly says, “I don’t like Billy!”

“How come?” I asked him.

“Billy asked me if I wanted to see his penis.” Hayden stated. Jeff and I look at each other, try not to laugh or snicker like 10 year old boys because he said penis but at the same time I am trying to hold in my outrage.

“What? I squeaked, trying to stay call. I mean what kind of kids asks that? But I held it together, took a deep breath and decided to use this as a teaching moment.

“Hayden, it is not a nice thing to do to ask to see other person’s penis or vagina. They are private parts. Only the doctor, mommy, daddy and you are suppose to see your penis.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to see Billy’s penis. That’s yucky!” Hayden replied thoughtfully.

Thank God for that answer then I questioned more, “Hayden is anyone allowed to touch your penis?”

“NO!” He stated.

“That’s right. Only you, the doctor, mommy or daddy can touch your penis,” I again reminded him. “And if some one else besides those people touches your penis then you have to tell mommy or daddy right away.”

He was thoughtful for a moment and then said, “What about the veg…vig…geania…the dinah? Who can touch that? Can I touch a dinah?”

“NO! Not until you are 40 or I am to old to know that you are sexually active”, is what I wanted to scream. But instead, I very calmly told him that vaginas are private parts too and no he can not touch one.

“Well that is good, cause I just want to leave penis’ and dinahs alone.” He says.

*sigh* Man, I love this kid! Now, if I can just get that in writing, make him sign it in blood and stick to it through those teenage years. I will be all set and worry free, right?

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