Pumpkin Patch Field Trip where Everyone Got to Listen to my Butt

“How come one paper says one date and another paper says a different date?” I asked Jeff.

“I don’t know,” he said taking the school notes from me to study them.

“I put this day on the calendar as the field trip and now I get this note saying a different day,” I huffed.

“Sorry, babe” Jeff said, “but they are allowed to change their minds.”

“No, they are not. I have a very delicate organizational system here and one wrench could throw it off,” I said.

I walked to my white board calendar and erased the first date and added the new date.

“You don’t suppose,” Jeff began, “that the field trip is happening all week? Like different classes are going on different days.”

I stopped mid word and looked at him, panic bubbling in my chest.

“What?” I screeched.

“That pumpkin patch is pretty small, I bet they had to break it up,” Jeff stated.

“You mean, I am going to have to go to the pumpkin patch three different times?” I asked, my voice now at chipmunk pitch.

“Email the teachers for sure but I am thinking so,” Jeff said.

As it turns out, Jeff was absolutely right.

This is just one of the many joys of having three kids in kindergarten in three different classes. Claire’s class went to the pumpkin patch on Tuesday and Jake and Quinn’s class went to the pumpkin patch on Wednesday.

Which meant that I went to the pumpkin patch on Tuesday and then again on Wednesday.

The trip with Claire’s class went off with out a hitch.

Well, expect for the minor panic attack I had in the corn maze where I thought we were lost and never getting out. Corn mazes are fun… NOT!

Jake and Quinn’s field trip was a different story.

First, there was rain.

I was not prepared for rain. Heaven forbid that I actually check the weather app on my phone. Whatever, I didn’t really like the shoes I was wearing any way.

But rain doesn’t stop the activities at the pumpkin patch, nope.

Hayride… even more fun in the rain.

Corn maze…. it’s extra exciting since the ground is all slick and you slip and fall when turning the corner.

Picking out a pumpkin… sure just don’t stick your hands to deeply in the mud.

But at least there were donuts.

Donuts make every thing all better, except well, donuts couldn’t fix one of my most embarrassing moments ever.

We had all come back to the main tents, each person was nice and wet with a good caking of mud on their pants.

It was time for donuts. I stood back to let the kids get first picks. I know better than to stand between a mob of hungry, depleted of sugar, damp kindergartners.

I took out my phone to check it because that is what I do when I have a free minute. I don’t want to miss any thing happening on the Internet.

I looked up to see a random child staring up at me saying, “can you help me?”

Since this was not one of my own children who I would have told to wait, I slipped my phone in my back pocket and gave the child my full attention.

I helped the child walk to the table with his donut and apple cider and then got one for myself.

“Alright, boys and girls finish up,” one of the teachers said as a quiet fell over the room, “It’s time to get on the bus and head back to school.”

With the noise in the room at a minimum, my ears clued into music.

“What in the world?” I said to myself, “I bet someone didn’t silence their phone, how rude.”

The music continued playing and suddenly, I knew what song it was…

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow

I looked around the room in disgust and thought, “who the heck would have that song as a ring tone? We are in a room full of children, for goodness sake!”

As the song continued, the quieter the room became as more and more people tuned in to listen. I looked around the room and saw many smirks come across the faces of the other moms and dads present.

You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

“This is just ridiculous,” I said to myself, not smiling and kind of getting angry at whoever was just letting their phone play on.

Suddenly, I realized that the music was coming from behind me.

I quickly turned around to see who was standing there but all I saw was the tent wall.

“Oh my…” I gasped as I finally realized where the music was coming from.

Me!

My butt was playing the song and not just any song as song about blowing some guy.

I reached around and clumsily grabbed my phone from my back pocket. Of course, my brain would choose now to forget the pass code I type into my phone like 80 times a day.

With the room now fully silent and all the kids, parents and even some grandma’s getting a lesson from Flo Rider in how to blow his whistle that apparently is always all ready to go, I finally typed in the correct code, found the radio app that was playing and turned it off.

“Sorry,” I said with a nervous laugh and I quickly ducked away to busy myself with… anything.