I hope that it is safe for me to make a broad generalization but I think that most girls like to go and get their nails done.
I know that I do. For special occasions, I like to go to the nail salon and get my fingernails and toenails neatly trimmed, buffed and polished. It is a fun way to pamper myself.
Besides being pampered for a little while, I like to have my nails done at a salon because I can’t paint my own nails to save my life. Well, I am mean I can paint them but it is not pretty. I get polish all over my fingers and the surface that I am painting on. I never let them dry long enough so the are all smudged and half of the paint comes off.
I bet that if I gave Claire the nail brush and had her do it, she could do much better.
So that is why I prefer to head to the nail salon but now I am scared to go there. See, the last time that I went there things did not go very well.
When I sat down and almost missed the chair, I knew that the whole session was just going to be a comedy or errors.
For some reason, I was really, really nervous and I had a hard time getting my hand to relax. The man who was trying to do my nails, kept shaking it to get me to be loose. He wanted me to be limp like cooked pasta but I never got there. In fact, I was so tense that he actually filed into my actual finger because I couldn’t relax it enough to keep it out of the way.
Maybe on a subconsciousness level, it was just retaliation for all the times that I kicked him in the knee under the table. Or maybe he was frustrated with the fact that he had to repaint four of my fingers two times because I kept accidentally touching the drying fan. Or maybe it was the fact that I spilled a whole bottle of polish all over the table.
By the time my appointment was over, the owner’s of the salon all but pushed me out of their store. I am pretty sure that there is a picture of me in the back room that says, “Do Not Paint Her Nails. She Brings Destruction.”
So now I have a problem. It’s getting warmer and I would really like to have my nails done again. I figure that my choices are this:
I can hope that the winter has made them forget all the havoc that I cause at my last appointment.
I can find a new salon and hope the my reputation does not precede me.
I can try and persuade Jeff with many, many favors so that he will paint my toes.
I can line the kitchen with plastic, stick my feet out, hand Claire the bottle and hope she hits my nails.
Or worst of all, I can just do it myself.
What is a girl to do?