Pillow Talk

We keep our house cold.

Jeff and I are naturally warm people and really dislike being hot. We believe that you can always put more clothes on but there is only so many clothes that you can take off.

Also, keep our thermostat low, saves money.

But with the house being cold, this means that getting into bed and getting warm is an act of epic proportions.

If you are alone in the bed, you must shiver and shake and move your body to create a warm spot under the covers. But if you are not alone, then the task is a little easier. The two bodies in bed and come together and both people will be nice and warm.

Jeff and I just happened to go to bed at the same time one night.

“Jeff, turn around and face me so that you can cuddle with me. I am freeeeezing!” I said with a chatter in my teeth.

“No.” Jeff said matter-of-factly.

“Why, not?” I asked pouting my lip. “I am really, really cold.”

“If I lay next to you all close then your wiggling will wake up the ‘Sargent’ and he is all nice and sleeping,” Jeff answered.

“But I am so cold. I can lay still, I promise,” I pleaded.

“No sorry,” he said again, “But I’ll tell you what, I will put my butt on you and then maybe you will get lucky and I will fart and that will put a whole lot of hot air next to you.”

“No,” I said in a fit of giggles because whenever anyone talks about farting I instantly begin laughing, “I’ll just get myself warm. I hope you and your ‘Sargent’ have a good night.

With that I pushed him more towards his side of the bed and began my wiggling and bouncing to create some warmth.

Whoever said that romance dies after marriage, may have been onto something.

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  1. Yes, pillow talk definitely changes a few years into marriage, that’s for sure!

    And I hate to break it to you, but you and I could never live together. I am always FREEZING. The heater is on right now and I’m toasty warm. :)
    Natalie´s last blog post ..Tassimo Brewbot For MeAnd YOU!

  2. lmbo that sounds like something my hubby would say and do
    Angel´s last blog post ..Christmas memories- what I live off of

  3. Heated.matress.pad.

    For realsies. Best money I ever spent. Mine is dual controller so both sides don’t have to be the same temp. I sleep alone so they are both set the same but it was nice when I was married because he was a hot box and I’m always freezing. I turn it on an hour before bed and aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh………toasty sheets.

    The hardest part? Getting out of the warm bed in the morning.

  4. I am totally sneaking up the heat when my husband isn’t looking. I HATE being cold.

    And romance totally takes a detour a few years in. I would say it was pretty romantic that you actually went to bed at the same time.
    And the farting – well my hubby is all about the farting. I think for some reason he thinks that it makes him look like more a man. Go figure!

  5. LOL!!!!! Josh warms up our bed with farts too. My fav line: we just happened to go to bed at same time! I purposely try to avoid this. My husbands sergeant never sleeps.
    Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation´s last blog post ..Family Christmas Santa Dinner Gone Wrong

  6. Oh my gosh, hilarious!
    Rachael´s last blog post ..Holiday Break Thoughts

  7. lol!! I am always cold when we go to bed and my husband’s feet are enough to turn mine into icicles, too….so we got a heated blanket last year and its awesome! We turn it on just after we put the kids to bed and it warms up the bed and blankets so that when we crawl in….its nice and toasty! It even has dual controls so mine can be warmer and keep it on all night…while hubby can have his cooler and turn it off when he goes to bed.

    Genius! MUCH better than farting husbands!
    Barbara Manatee´s last blog post ..Merry Christmas 2010

  8. My husband thinks the same – You can always put on more clothes, but you can only take so many off. I, however, think that if I set the temperature correctly nobody has to take off or put on anything! I will admit, though…getting into a cold bed and wiggling around to heat it up is my favorite thing in the whole world. I love it!
    Lindsay´s last blog post ..It’s my SITS Day!!

  9. “Sargent?”

    I can’t get past that. Hilarious.

    Romance might fall away, but give me a guy who will make me giggle any day. If that lasts a lifetime, I’ll consider myself lucky.

    P.S. come on down, it’s going to be 80 today. No joke.
    ash´s last blog post ..Do these Hammer pants make my butt look big

  10. We have a king size bed so that we don’t have to touch at night unless we want to. I can’t stand anyone touching me when I’m trying to sleep.
    Jennifer´s last blog post ..Write it down- Check it off

  11. At some point, I’m going to mention that I love you and Jeff’s relationship too many times and you’re going to realize it’s creepy.

    That day will be sad.

  12. Were you in my bed last night? That’s exactly what happened to us:-) Hee, hee, hee.

  13. Ditto on the heated mattress pad. HEAVEN….

  14. Geez, you’re lucky! I WISH my husband would say that ‘Sarge’ is sleeping once in a while. I always knows that when he follows me to bed, I’m in trouble. :)
    Mindy´s last blog post ..Randomness

  15. My husband wouldn’t admit that was going to happen, he would come cuddle then hope he would get lucky since it did.
    Emmy´s last blog post ..The Real Santa

  16. HA! Who says romance is dead, indeed?

  17. Ahhh, the romance of it all!

  18. Nice. My husband would have taken the “snuggling” as an invitation. If I were cold, I probably would have gone that way as it’s a fun way to warm up!
    Wendy´s last blog post ..Crios de Susana Balbo Torrontes

  19. The Sargent. How classic. And I love that you giggle at his fart jokes.

  20. that was really funny!
    Alexandria´s last blog post ..Guest Blog Post- What will you do next year

  21. Hilarious! That’s why I love me some flannel sheets! That way my husband can’t guilt me into sex by saying I woke anyone up! (that and a nice sexy pair of long johns…yummy!)

  22. Texan Mama says:

    OMG this totally made me laugh out loud! You really put a smile on my face today. Thanks for that.
    Texan Mama´s last blog post ..Disappointment

  23. I’m with Rachel…My hubs Sargent is always at attention. :) Does make for cozy sleeping though. Hang in there darlin’! Thanks for making me laugh.

    Lots of yummy love,
    Alex aka Ma What’s For Dinner
    Ma, What’s For Dinner´s last blog post ..Tasty Tidbits – Holiday Tips

  24. Yes, the term “getting lucky” sure has changed, hasn’t it (as least in this post)?? BAWAHAHAHA!!!
    Elaine´s last blog post ..These are the Days – WW

  25. Connie @ Young and Relentless says:

    HA!! We call ours Captain! Which ironically has become iKeith’s nickname at work because he was a Captain in the Army which is why I call it…oh nevermind.
    Connie @ Young and Relentless´s last blog post ..Too Old To Party

  26. I don’t currently control the temperature in this house because I’m living with my parents until I graduate from college (in May, yay!), but I plan on having a cold house too some day.

    The only problem is that I love in Texas and that means that it’s more expensive to have your house cooler…but it’s a must for me, too!

    Fortunately, my boyfriend’s parents (also living at home until graduated, aren’t we cool?!) keep their house really cold and I have someone to snuggle with there to get warm.

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