Jeff is a gamer. Meaning that his hobby, his favorite pass time is playing video/computer games. He has been this way for as long as I have known him. It doesn’t matter the system, Wii, computer, DS. He has games on all of them that he likes to play. I guess this is only natural since he is a ‘computer guy’ by profession.
But his game play has caused a few issues in our relationship. It has been a constant balancing act for him to give me as much if not more attention than he gives his games. There have been fights and tears about this. We went through a particularly rough time when he was playing World of Warcarft (WoW).
There were many, many night when I would cry at him for affection. I would beg him to spend time with me. I would shove our children in his face so that he would give me, us attention.
Well, one day after a year and a half of Jeff playing WoW, he stopped. Just out of the blue, he up and quit. I can’t tell you how many hours he put into that game and then suddenly he was done.
You would think that I would be ecstatic but honestly, this was such a shock that I was scared. To me, it was like he was having a mid-life crisis or something. I wondered if he could do that to me, to our family. But after much reassurance from him, I finally realized that I had gotten what I wanted along. Jeff was done with this game and able to be involved more in our life.
This was a good thing, a very, very good thing. Or was it?
At first it was nice. He was always there to help with the kids. He always wanted to spend time with me. He constant attention was given to me and the kids. But now it is just annoying. So I have decided that Jeff needs to play more video games again and here is why.
- TV Control. With Jeff playing video games, he does watch or care what I watch on TV. I get to have total control. If I want to watch a sappy movie on Lifetime, I can with no eye roll. If I want to watch Jersyshore or Kim and Khloe take Miami, I can and Jeff doesn’t really care. But with him not playing video games anymore, he voices an opinion about what is on TV or even worse, takes the remote first and won’t let me have it.
- Parenting Style. With Jeff involved in video games, the parenting is up to me. Now, you may think that this is a bad thing but really, its not. I get to be in total control of how the kids are raised. If I want to feed them sugar all day and let them watch TV until their eyeballs fall out, I can with no guilt. Also, discipline is up to me so I just don’t have to do it and then I can blame Jeff for the fact that our children are crazy because he doesn’t help me.
- Guilt. With Jeff involved in video games, I have a perfect way to guilt him into things. There are times that I do actually want Jeff’s attention and when he is gaming, this is a difficult thing to achieve. But I have found a way. All I have to do, it get drunk and the cry and spew 10 years worth of fights and disagreements back at him. Then I stomp off to continue sobbing. This is usually such a shock to him that he will stop playing and come and comfort me. Then the next day, there are presents of pretty things for me. The only problem is that this is a very powerful method and I mustn’t use it very often.
- Limited sex. With Jeff playing video games, sex is not something that is the fore front of his mind. Again, this might been seen as a bad thing but really, its not. As a mother of 4 kids, I am tired. And at that end of the day, all I want to do is sleep. Plus, I get to control when we have sex because if I am feeling sexy then all I need to do is walk in the room when Jeff is playing naked and as soon as the battle is over and assuming I am still awake, we go at it.
- Safe Ears. With Jeff playing video games all the time, my ears are safe from hearing all the ridiculous randomness that comes out of his mouth. Like, “I’ma taser you!” or “That is comedy gold.” and even still, “Sure, Micky Mouse is ‘coming’ but only if Minnie is in the car.” When Jeff is involved in game play, I don’t have to hear these things as often but when he is not, its a constant assault and my eyes get tired from rolling them so much.
So I think that I have made a very good case for him needing to play more video games. He really, really needs to find a new game soon. My sanity depends on it.
Obviously, this is tongue and cheek. I really do love Jeff and I think that he is a great husband and father even if right now he is not playing enough video games from my liking.
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
I can see that this has been reasoned out quite well. Your logic is sound.
.-= blueviolet´s last blog ..Dont Leave Me Lookin That Way =-.
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Hahahaha!! He sounds just like my husband & gaming. Honestly, I would be so ecstatic if he quit! All he has is an Xbox but it is the bane of my existence. I get so sick of hearing the yelling & cursing at the TV for Call of Duty. Ughhhhhhhh.
.-= Megan´s last blog ..GTKY Sunday! How dare I forget! =-.
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I feel your pain, sister! I went through this with my husband…I finally said ENOUGH! Grab you WII and get out of here! (wait…that didn’t come out right at all! lol!)
.-= Dawn (Bee and Rose)´s last blog ..How Do Ya Like Me Now! =-.
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As a fellow WOW widow…I completely understand. iKeith’s Mom and Brother both play WOW and they are all in a fight right now (because of me) and so he’s not playing because they will all *run into each other* in the game.
I hope they make up soon so I can watch my trashy TV again.
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Jeff should take his Disney humor on the road – I think the country is calling out for such a thing.
.-= Megan (Best of Fates)´s last blog ..Her Last Visit Home =-.
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Jen Reply:
July 26th, 2010 at 3:01 pm
You hush your mouth! He does not need that kind of encouragement.
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Lol, cute post! DH and I had that same problem. We played together though. He just played more than I did. :0P We both quit because it got far too easy with the expansions. It was boring.
.-= Jeannette´s last blog ..Motivation Monday July 26 =-.
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Total control of the TV without an eye roll or side comments? I think that’s what it will be like in heaven.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Does your kid whine =-.
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Hahaha! This is like every “grown” man!
.-= Pooba´s last blog ..Gettin My Photag On =-.
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Yes, I can see where video gaming would have definite advantages. Maybe you should buy him a new one for Christmas in July?
.-= amber´s last blog ..Who Are All You People- Anyway =-.
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Oh my word!!! You walk in naked, and assuming you’re still awake when he finishes playing??? HAHAHAHA! Most guys would happily put down the game, mid-game.
I guess be careful what you wish for???
.-= liz´s last blog ..Daily Kate-isms- 72610 =-.
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I so agree with you about the sex thing. I am tired, get off of me NOW.
.-= Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation´s last blog ..The Maid that doesn’t clean…say whaaaat =-.
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I love the honesty of this post! Great! Made me laugh.
.-= Kristy´s last blog ..Tonic- Sunday Snippet =-.
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Do you live in my house???
Seriously, that was scary. I think you just documented part of my life. I USED to be a video game widow too. But gone are the good ole days. What happened???
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..New Friends- New Places =-.
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I play WoW with my husband :X
Not sure which one of us is supposed to be parenting LOL
.-= Jayme´s last blog ..Photography Fail - =-.
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It sounds like you have established a pretty delicate balance of power in your relationship. Me too:-) When my husband stops, I wonder what is wrong or what will be wrong:-)
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grass is always greener on the other side eh? My brother got in trouble for many years too because of his gaming and lack of involvement, he has cut back too.
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I’m so with you. Your hubby definitely should start playing video games again. There’s nothing worse than sharing the TV, listening to annoying comments and having him – the father of your children – butt in when it comes to parenting the kids. How irritating! lol
I loved this post!
Thanks for stopping by Jen. I feel absolutely horrible for not coming by your place in a while. Life has been ridiculously crazy around here lately.
Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
@TweetingMama
.-= Kristi {at} Live and Love…Out Loud´s last blog ..“OH NO HE DIDN’T!” Tuesday- From Misery to Missouri =-.
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wait! Did you write this about Russ or Jeff? Cos it sure sounds JUST like my husband, right down to the WoW. CRAZY.
Hope Jeff (and Russ) get back to playing really soon!
.-= debi9kids´s last blog ..20 Kids and Counting =-.
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Jayme Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 9:34 pm
So uh, Debi and Jen- what servers did your husbands play on?
.-= Jayme´s last blog ..PINT w-Supah! =-.
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Jen Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 10:09 pm
Jeff used to play on Grizzly Hills…
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OMG this is SO SO funny. and sadly, SO SO true. well thought out. good luck on finding him a game.
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This may be tongue in cheek, but it’s so true!
Well, my husband is still playing the video games. In fact, he tried to buy a Playstation 3 a few days ago on a trip to Costco… I made him put it back. Our oldest boy is 13, and my husband claims it’s important to spend time with him, doing something our son likes to do. Therefore, my husband has found the perfect excuse.
.-= Mrs.Mayhem´s last blog ..Day 38 of Summer Vacation- and It’s All Gone to Shit =-.
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I am SOOOO right there with you! My hubs isn’t a gamer but used to travel quite a bit for work. All I wanted was for him to be home more and now that he is? “When’s your next trip, honey??”
; )
.-= Susan @ Sassafrassery´s last blog ..Politics and Talk Radio =-.
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Makes perfect sense to me. I always tell my husband he needs a hobby.
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Not suitable for the picture wall =-.
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video games for you = golf for me! I totally feel ya!
.-= abbie´s last blog ..Day 26- glue and sniff =-.
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Did I just read that he games NAKED?
.-= angie´s last blog ..Working my way down my bucket list… =-.
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Jen Reply:
July 27th, 2010 at 10:07 pm
No, he is not naked but me. I sometimes get naked to get him to make him stop playing.
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Great post! Jason sounds just like your husband with all the video game playing and such. Just like you, we’ve gotten into our arguments over how much time he spends on it and I find myself constant throwing E at him too. However, every time I think about what life would be like without him playing video games, I draw a blank and cannot for the life of me imagine what it would be like. You have enlightened me and I will continue to encourage his game playing
Of course, I’m still going to have to throw E at him from time to time.
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