This is another therapy session. Come on people, I have triplets, I need a lot of sessions.
Dearest Babies,
I am so sorry that you all are sick. I guess we know that fall is here, colder weather, leaves starting to change and snotty stuffy noses. I am so sorry that you all got another cold. This is just going to be the first of many as we begin the season.
I just want to let you know that is breaks my heart that I can not hold and rock all of you while you are sick. I really wish that I had a magic button that I could push and when you needed it, I could make more of myself.
I had to choose Jacob. He was the sickest and his breathing seemed bad. I would have chosen you, Quinn in a heart beat. And Claire, you were on the top of my list. I am sorry that you had to cry yourselves to sleep. I would have given anything to hold you all and rock you until sleep surrounded you. I don’t think you know how much it hurts me that I can’t be 3 people, that I can’t be there for you all when you need me the most.
Yes, I chose Jacob and I sat and rocked him until he was fast asleep, I did enjoy every minute but I too cried. I cried with you, Claire and you, Quinn. I cried until you fell asleep. I cried because I could not comfort you. I cried because you had to comfort yourselves. I cried because it just does not seem fair.
Even though there are 3 of you, there is only one of me. I am doing the best that I can. I am sure this is not the first time that I had to choose just one of you or will it be the last. Just know that I don’t think that it will ever get easier and I will still cry with you just the same.
Sleep now my sweet, sick babies. I love you all more than words can say. Tomorrow should be a better day. I promise to fill it with lots of hugs and cuddles and try to take away all the sickies.
~Mommy
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