I took a step but missed the stair and found myself sprawled out on floor, a couple of steps in my ribs and my nose kissing the carpet. I turned over and sat down on the second to last step.
The crying upstairs intensified.
I just couldn’t walk up those steps again. I had lost count how many times I had been up and down them that night. I noticed the clock on the wall change from 4:02 to 4:03am.
I lost it.
I buried my head in my hands and let the sobs roll through my body.
In that moment, I did not want to talk back into that room for all the money in the world.
“Please God, let this be the last time. I just want 2 hours of solid sleep, just 2 hours,” I prayed in between sobs.
I couldn’t even do the math as to how long I had been awake. My brain and body were past the point of exhaustion.
Not all nights were bad, some nights they slept. But this night seemed to be the never ending night of crying. Just as one baby was soothed and settled back to sleep another one would wake up. I couldn’t just let them cry it out because that would wake the other babies in the room. One crying baby was easier to deal with than two or three.
From the increasing level of crying continuing upstairs, I knew I had to go. I was on borrowed time.
I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my cheeks and pushed my weary body upwards to begin the walk up the steps.
When I reached the top, I looked at the toddler’s door.
“If I can get this baby to sleep in the next 20 minutes, then I could easily sleep for 2 solid hours before he wakes up,” I thought and then added, “and maybe I’ll get lucky and catch a 15 minute cat nap. And today, I will duct tape this diaper on him so he can’t take it off to smear poop on the floor.”
I walked into the room and scooped up the very angry infant.
We settled into the rocking chair and soon I found myself singing my very favorite lullaby… it was something to sooth the baby and vent my frustrations all at the same time.
See video here
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This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Celestial Seasonings®. The opinions and text are all mine.