“Billy, stop that right now!” she said.
As I walked the triplets into school, I saw their little friend Billy messing around with one of the doors.
“Billy, stop!” his mom said again.
I smiled at her politely and set the backpacks down as Jake, Quinn and Claire removed their coats. They all then ran off to go join Billy and some of the other kids.
With Billy now distracted by the presence of other kids, he stopped messing around.
“He is just so naughty,” his mom said in my directions.
“Oh, crap!” I thought, “Some how my sympathetic smile made her think that I was again willing to listen to her bitch and complain about her son.”
“He never listens to me,” she began, “I just don’t know what to do.”
I nodded my head in agreement because whether I wanted her too or not, she was going to spill her guts to me. She began to talk about how Billy is always taking off his glasses and putting them in random places and then can’t remember where he put them. She went on and on about how this drives her crazy because glasses are expensive and they can’t afford to get a new pair.
As she talked, I glanced away to monitor my kid’s behavior. Jake, Quinn and Claire were stand there watching Billy as he was rolling through the hall.
“Billy, get up now!” his mom said.
Billy didn’t even give her a sideways glance and just kept rolling.
“Billy! Get… Up!!” she said. Billy stuck his tongue out at her and continued to roll. But then stopped but not because his mom told him too but because he found a piece of packed snow on the ground.
I shook my head as Billy’s mom went on.
“Ug! He is so naughty!” she sighed.
Even though, I was appalled by his behavior, I could sense her frustration so I tried to help.
“How about a special basket or box that could hold Billy’s glasses. You could get him involved and decorate it with his favorite things and then he can put his glasses in there when he doesn’t want to wear them,” I said.
She looked at me with amazement like I had just said the most awe inspiring words in the English language.
“Oh my goodness! That is a fabulous idea!” she said.
I smiled and once again glanced over at the kids.
“Jacob!” I said sternly, “Don’t even think about throwing that piece of snow. Put it down now or you will sit on the naughty chair.”
Jacob looked at me and then looked at the small ball of snow and decided that the risk of throwing it would be too much. Unfortunately, Billy watched the whole scene with great interest.
As soon as Jake set the snow down, Billy ran over picked up the ball and threw it at the wall.
Billy smiled, his mom didn’t even notice.
“So you think that special box thing will work?!” Billy ’s mom began.
I didn’t look at her as she spoke, I was watching the kids like a hawk. The snowball was now in many pieces and I knew that resisting the urge to throw it was going to be too much for Jake.
“Jacob!” I said as he reached down for some snow, “Come, here… NOW!”
Jake stopped and slowly walked over to me. My stern tone caused Billy’s mom to look over at him and finally pay attention as Billy gathered another handle full of snow.
“Billy, don’t you dare!” she said.
Billy didn’t even blink. He just continued forming a ball.
“Billy, stop or we are going to go home and you will not get to play at preschool!” she said.
With that statement, Billy glanced at his mom as if he was testing her. Would she really get up and remove him from school?
“Billy, put it down now!” she said again. Billy tossed the snowball back and forth between his hands.
“Don’t do it. Because if you throw that snow, we are going home and then when your dad gets home, you are going to be in big trouble.” she said.
Seriously, I wanted to slap the woman in the head. What in the world was she thinking? I wanted her to get up and remove him from the situation. I wanted her to use some form of discipline to stop this.
She turned to me and spoke with a sigh, “He is just so naughty, I just don’t know what to do.” and then to Billy, she said “I mean it, put it down or we are leaving.”
I rolled my eyes and I am pretty sure Billy did too. I couldn’t deal with her any more and I focused my attention on the kids. I had a feeling that this was not going to end well.
Then I watched Billy take the snowball and then launch it in the air straight at Claire.
I couldn’t move fast enough to get her out of the way and she was hit on the side of the head with a snowball.
Her wails filled the hallway.
Finally, Billy’s mom was on her feet.
I gathered Claire in my arms and looked at Billy’s mom right in the eyes, “It’s called discipline! Get off your ass and learn out to use it.”
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I love, love, love that you said that to her in the end! Seriously!! Some people just want to sit and complain about their kids when they don’t even realize that they’re contributing to the problem!!
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OH see that wouldn’t even come close to flying here. If she hadn’t taken him in hand in this neck of the woods another mom would have done it for her. Period. agggghh that just ticks me off for you and Claire..
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Woo hoo! Way to go! As a parent, I hate watching other parents NOT deal with their kids. Its even harder as a teacher when a parent tells me their kid is so naughty yet they are fine at school. Set some rules and follow through people!! Seriously! Hope Claire was ok!
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YOU ROCK!!!!!!!
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This child hit your child in the head with a snowball?!? And you had the restraint not to hit HIM with one?
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I have always wanted to make a shirt that says Parenting is about Getting off Your Ass! Why haven’t people learned that empty threats don’t work and that they can’t parent from across the room when they are talking to other parents? I find the kids who act up the most are those that the parents are too busy..whether it’s helping at a function or just having an adult conversation. It’s sad because there are so many that would rather let you do it for them..
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OH, Oh,oh! I’m seething for you! I hate that Claire got hurt, but I’m glad you had the chance to put her in her place!
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Good for you! That drives me crazy when parents complain about their children yet do nothing to stop them. It’s this passive parenting that makes me want to scream. I’m so glad you said something. I’m very impressed you didn’t eat the child or the mom!!
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Someday Claire’s brothers will tackle a kid who hurts their sister. Sounds like it’s time to start training them.
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Jen Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 9:47 pm
I sure hope so because now they kinda laugh.
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It always amazes me that some moms just don’t “get it.” they are more interested in their own sob story rather than focus on keeping their kids from being naughty or misbehaving. Clearly her threats are empty, since Billy just kept doing what he wanted to do. I’m glad you said something, I hope that Claire was okay.
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Amazingly these parents are everywhere. I have a mom friend who’s 14 year old son was raised this way and she STILL doesn’t get what went wrong. Thanks for saying something to her, sometimes people need some harsh honest truth.
JCat
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Oh how I love this. How I would LOVE to say this to a few particular moms. The whole “wait until your dad gets home”? drives me bonkers. Absolutely freakin’ bonkers! No wonder the kid doesn’t listen to her!
Good for you for saying something
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Go Jen! I wish I could have been there to watch that.
I can promise you that my momma never waited for my daddy to come home, and I don’t wait for David either.
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I hope that what you said to her knocks some sense into Billy’s mom. She needs to get whacked in the head with a snowball or two. Parents like this make me crazy.
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Oh good for you!!!
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No! You didn’t! Please tell me you did- were those your exact words?? Oh I hope so, I chicken out too often when yes, clearly something needed to be said. And of course he is going to be naughty when she doesn’t do anything and then just keeps saying he is naughty when he can hear!
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DID YOU REALLY!?!??! Awesome.
This scenario drives me freakin’ CUH-RAZY and unfortunately it’s common practice among some of our good friends. UGH.
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Jen Reply:
January 24th, 2012 at 9:48 pm
This is SO hard to watch. Parenting is an active sport. You have to get off your ass and do something.
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I love your story telling. It is the best.
PS- I can’t stand parents that don’t discipline. I would have said the same thing!
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It is frustrating. She needs to do some serious followthrough or it is going to get worse and worse.
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I loved this! It’s not easy to say something, and I give you tremendous credit.
I read this post yesterday, as I sat outside my kids’ school, waiting to pick them up. I was about half-way through when another mom came and sat down next to me. Her son is in my son’s 1st grade class, and has been a problem since the first day of school. Early in the year, he repeatedly poked, pushed, and hit my son during class when the teacher wasn’t looking. My son complained so much to me, that I finally sent in a note asking that she talk with my son about what to do (the boy ended up being moved).
The funny thing is, every time I see his mom at pick up, she is holding a baby, and has twin 4 yo boys running around screaming and creating havoc. It became clear to me that she has her hands full (I have only two kids, so I can’t completely relate) BUT she also has a complete lack of discipline! You are living proof that it doesn’t matter how many kids you have, you have to have discipline with some common-sense follow through to raise children.
As I sat next to her, I almost asked her for her email address so I could send her your post. I didn’t. BUT, if her son hits my kids again, I may just have to follow your lead.
Thanks!
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Yessss. Thank you for writing this. I am a nanny who is pretty strict. A couple of times the kids’ mom’s friend has been over and seen me in action. She told me she should come watch me for a couple days because she could learn from me. A complete lack of discipline from parents/caregivers drives me batty.
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