Have you ever noticed that people don’t pay attention to most signs.
I am a registered nurse and work in the hospital and there are signs posted all over the place that people just don’t see.
There is a sign on a set of elevators that says, “Staff Only” and visitors get on like they know what they are doing. This is not the smartest thing because they will probably see a dead body.
There is a sign on a lot of patient room doors that says “Contact Isolation” meaning that people need to wear a special gown to go into the room. People ignore the sign and walk right in.
There is a sign on a few doors that says “Restricted Area Staff Only” and people just bust through those doors like the own the place.
I don’t know about you but this really, really annoys me. Especially in the hospital, those signs are up to protect the visitor and patient from harm.
Is it really that difficult to see a sign posted at eye level on a door?
According to my research, meaning shift at work where I became really aware of this problem, it is.
Now, I am not perfect and have made this mistake myself so that is why I want to try and help you by telling this story about a person that did not heed the warning the door held.
I had gathered a couple of my co-workers to help me give a bath to my patient.
My patient was unconscious and on a ventilator so she had to be given a bed bath. We closed the door and the blinds to the room as we usually did so that they patient, even though she was unaware, could have privacy.
We went about the business of cleaning the patient up and suddenly there was a knock at the door and it began to open. I called to the person trying to enter that the patient was getting a bath and they needed to come back later.
The door closed again.
It was now time to change the linens under the patient. So we pulled the patient to one side of the bed and the turned her up on her side. This movement caused the patient to begin coughing like it does with any patient who has a tube down their throat. The moving causes the tube to move and tickle the lungs which causes coughing.
It happens and it’s no big deal.
This patient had a particular violent or spastic cough.
I talked to the patient and explained what was going on and tried to give her a little bit more sedative medication but she just kept coughing. In fact her coughing was so strong that it caused her to have a small bowl movement.
It happens and it’s no big deal.
We cleaned up her bottom and shoved the clean sheets under the old ones when I heard the door open again.
Now you must imagine what I am going to tell you next happening all at the same time.
As I held the patient up, I called to the person opening the door that we were still giving a bath and that patient was all exposed but my warning fell on deaf ears. The visitor entered the room and saw the patient on her side, naked with her ass flapping in the wind. It was a complete full moon.
As I called out and the visitor entered, the patient began to cough again and this time as she coughed a loud liquid fart left her body.
At the sound of the fart, my co-worker who was standing right in front of the butt jumped out of the way, as we all have been conditioned to do, to miss the spray and by doing that put the intruding visitor in the direct line of fire.
And the visitor got sprayed with the liquid fart.
I kind you not.
And thank God that I was able to keep my laughter inside until the visitor, who was now appalled, left to go get cleaned up. Then both me and my co-worker erupted with laughter.
So my dear friends, let this be a warning to you. When a door is closed take is as a sign that means “Do Not Enter” and heed this warning unless you like being sprayed with shit.
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
i LIVE for your work stories!! Awesome!
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Jen Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 7:56 pm
Well, I guess I better get to telling some more. I want to make sure you have a long and happy life.
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AJ Reply:
October 17th, 2011 at 1:14 am
see, even your dedication to your “follower’s” health is commendable!
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I so wish I went through with nursing school so I could have some awesome stories to tell! Hilarious!
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SHE deserved that! THAT was funny!
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OH. MY. GOD. I will never walk into a closed room again without checking VERY carefully for signs.
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I love your stories from work. Especially this one.
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Oh.my.word! That is gross and deserved
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Oh my dear God!! That is hilarious!!! I will never be able to walk into a hospital room again without thinking of that!
And yes people can be, as my sister would say, “dee ta dee” these days!
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My brother was in the hospital recently for gallstones and when I went to visit, his door was closed. Before I entered, I went and asked a nurse to make it was safe to do so. Because you just never know. And can you just imagine being shat on by your brother? Ew. Ewewew.
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Jen Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Good for you. You are one of the few that will ask if they can come in. Most people just open the door.
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Makes me think of the early episodes of ER when poor Carter was always covered in SOMETHING! Hahahaha.
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Very funny story! I really enjoyed reading your article.. Tanks for the post!
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That’s pretty much priceless. I read this story on some anonymous site where medical professionals posted their stories about an obstetrics nurse. The woman in labor went to McDonald’s on her way to the hospital and scarfed down a Big Mac and fries because she knew they wouldn’t let her eat at the hospital. Well when the contractions really got going she realized why. She threw up all over the nurse standing in front of her. The nurse ran to the bathroom to throw up herself. She didn’t know anyone was in there, opened the door and proceeded to throw up all over the patient’s mother. So I guess you should also always be sure to lock the door when you go to the bathroom.
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That is so much awesomeness! I worked in an ICU for 4 years and was frequently one of the people called in to help with those baths so I have been EXACTLY in that situation, including goofballs barging in, but NEVER did we get lucky enough for a splatter! I can’t imagine how much we’d have all paid for that to happen. Especially to certain visitors…and I know you know what I mean.
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I did NOT see that coming, but crap on a cracker I’d have puked if I were sharted on!
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OMG. That person will never miss another sign again!
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Bahahaha!
Listen to warnings or you’ll be sprayed with shit.
I’m going to start telling people that. Not the story, just the one-liner. If you don’t take advice you deserve the face the consequences!
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Hilarious! I am going to nursing school right now and I am sure in the near future I will have some funny stories to tell myself. I hate when people do not read signs, directions, etc. I read everything and when people look all idiot like because they can’t figure something out I am always telling them READ! Read the sign, the box, the instructions, etc.
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Jen Reply:
October 16th, 2011 at 7:59 pm
It’s funny how something we learned in 1st grade, reading, is so important.
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I LOVE your work stories.
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That is amazing!!!
I’m not one to go into restricted areas, or come in when I’m not supposed to…. but if I ever have an inkling to in the future… well, you just defecated that thought right out of my head.
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Great!!!! That is the best example to teach people!!!! Thank you!!!!
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oh my heavens! I will never ever ever forget this! I promise! aren’t people so oblivious to others around them?!
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Yes there are many such cases that I come across. My friend is a doctor and while consulting there is sign outside that says “Please knock before entering”, but no one used to follow it and patients just used to barge inside the door. It is irritating but they have to be reminded.
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I’ve had this done to me by babies, but wow!
I remember how quickly the nurses jumped out of the way when they burst my waters in labour. I thought they must have been used to those sorts of lightning quick evasive maneuvres, and now I see why!
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That was hilarious! I will keep in mind to be mindful about the signs more especially if I’m in the hospitals. Thank you for sharing this enjoyable article!
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No way!! Lol!! Serves them right. That is pretty funny
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This is one heck of an experience, there is a lesson on this topic. Thanks for sharing.
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