I don’t know how you feel about mall play area’s but I don’t really have a problem with them.
Sure they are dirty little cesspools for germs and illness but I am all about challenging my kid’s immune system so its all good with me.
During the winter, we frequent these mall play areas because kids need to run and when there is 20 feet of snow of the ground, running around outside is not going to happen and I can only tolerate so much of it in my house. In the summer, we have more options but sometimes I find ourselves at the play area anyway.
Now usually when we go to these places, I just sit back and tweet or play Angry Birds. Sometimes, I will get off my ass and play hide and seek with my kids but that only happens when the stars align just so because I believe in the same philosophy as Mama Kat, “I don’t play with children”
But on this trip, Hayden wasn’t feeling the best so even though twitter was blowing up my phone and I wanted to tweet, I handed it over to him so that we could play Angry Birds.
So that meant that I was free to watch my children play.
Have you ever watched, like actually watched kids play?
It’s really very interesting and quite entertaining. I highly recommend it. It was because of me watching my kids (the triplets mainly) play that I learned there this whole ritual process to how kids make friends in the play area.
And today, I am going to break this secret code of friend making wide open and share it with you.
1. Run as fast as you can into the play area.
2. Stomp out of the play area because you didn’t remove your shoes and your mom called you back to take them off.
3. Take shoes off but leave them right out in the middle of the walk way for every adult to trip over or hide them in a place that your mom will never find them, forcing her to buy you new shoes and then right after she puts the new shoes on, pull old shoe from secret hiding spot.
4. With shoe issue resolved run into play area knocking down every single smaller child in your path, leaving your mom to apologize to the horrified first time mom’s* with small toddler-like children crawling around.
5. Go down slide 500 times in 2 minutes.
6. Find where mom is sitting, climb on her and seat bench kicking other adults and knocking over illegal coffee that your mom brought in with her.
7. Get very loud, very stern scolding from said mother.
8. Run off to play.
9. Decide its time to make a friend.
10. Stand in middle of play area with finger in mouth and look over all the kids.
11. Stare down each and every child that comes within a 5 foot radius of you with evil, ‘don’t talk to me or I will cut you’ look.
12. Decide you want to be on the lady bug that some small babyish toddler is on, knock off baby and let your mom again apologize to baby’s mom who happens to be a first time mom.
13. Get dirty look from your mom.
14. Time to really get serious about making a friend.
15. Find a kid close to your size playing and stare at them for 4 minutes.
16. When staring gets uncomfortable begin screaming at other child as loud as you can.
17. If other child is game and wants to be friends, he/she will begin scream back at you.
18. Screaming gets so intense you both run to your mommies for comfort.
19. Go down slide.
20.Find kid you screamed at, smile at each other.
21. Chase each other around play area knocking over smaller children but this time your mom just rolls her eyes and pretends that you are not her kid as the appalled baby toddler mom picks up baby kid and leaves.
22. Now you and the other kid are the best of friends.
So now you know how friends are made at the play area. I never knew it was so complicated but it seems to work for them. It all looks very strange to us adults and to think I just thought my kids were being annoying until I really watched them.
Not sure if this would work for adults or older children but in the 3 to 5 range it seems to be the thing to do.
Interesting, huh?!
*Dear First Time Mom Readers, I really truly don’t mean to offend you and I too was once a first time mom but come on, some of you need to lighten up. Kids are rough and run around especially in a play area and your sweet little baby will get pushed around. I am sorry it happens and I do try and stop my kids from running into the little ones but its a loosing battle. I guess its a good thing that babies are so squishy.
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{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha! I love your disclaimer for 1st time moms! I avoid those germ cesspools like the plague. In other words, I don’t do mall playgrounds. Then again, in the winter, we don’t have 20 feet of snow outside.
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I used to think the play area in the mall was disgusting… Until I worked in a store next to it for almost a year. You would never guess how many times a day they clean that stuff. I thought, like, twice, maybe three times, per week. I was so wrong. So, while they are still full of kid germs and you probably don’t want to involve food with the play area (EVER), they are still probably okay. Unlike the ball pit in Chuck E. Cheese, which is never okay.
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Love the disclaimer, and I was so like that at first, now I am over it. I was so mad when the big 5-7 year olds would run around the 1-2 year olds so fast and could totally knock them down. Now, I’m like oh well.
I know the mall play areas are full of germs, but my kids go to daycare and get germs all day with other kids, so it doesn’t matter to me. If they get sick, they get sick. I can’t worry about that mess anymore. There are germs on everything we touch anywhere so get OVER it.! LOL!
Great post! Love it! I’ll have to watch how my boys make friends once they get 3 or 4 years old.
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Funny, we frequent those places when it’s 110 degrees outside so maybe it’s a little less germy? I don’t care, sometimes you just need to go, like you said, to get out of the house! Unfortunately our local mall doesn’t have one so we eat a lot of lunches at Chick Fil A.
And we pack Purell. It’s all good.
I like your 1st time mom disclaimer. And yes, good thing they are so squishy.
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I’m going to go try your philosophy out next time I’m at the park and see if I make any new friends! I’ll report back with my findings.
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so funny, so funny. . . I really enjoyed reading this.
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That’s great! My 6 year old thinks the best way to make friends at the mall is to go up to a kid clearly larger than he is and start telling (bossing) him how to play a game. The rules must be more complicated than R2D2 can understand. He must not stop talking at any point in case the other kid is going to say he doesn’t want to play. Eventually they end up going down the slide one after the other a thousand times. Kids are so wierd.
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Jen Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Kids are SO weird!
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Your disclaimer? Why I love you. xo
I’m sounding all stalkerish today.
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So question, what’s a mom of a toddleby baby supposed to do? I haven’t taken my kid to one of these play structures because I’m afraid a big kid will knock baby girl over…and baby girl is known for her FIERCE retaliation!
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Jen Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Honestly, in my experience the big kids do a good job is watching out for the little ones but it does happen where a little one gets knocked over. Usually this is not a huge deal but there is one mom who makes it such.
I say take her and let her play and if some kid knocks her over then let them know the full force of her retaliation.
Or you can just wait until she is a little bit bigger.
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I am a mom since ten days ago!!! I love your blog! You are so funny! and your kids seem the cutest ever!!! I totally agree- some moms are just gotta lighten up….that’s true for everything – not only for the playground!
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Jen Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Congrats on the new baby and thank you.
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When were you watching ME on the playground anway?
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Jen Reply:
June 16th, 2011 at 8:27 pm
Oh, I am always watching you.
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‘I guess it’s a good thing that babies are squishy.’
*Hahaha! My HUSBAND would be the ‘first time mom’… another little baby was reaching for our daughter (when they were both just about 6 months) and he ‘gently’ swatted her hand away! HA! I STILL make fun of him for that
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I’ve never been to a shopping centre with one of those. It looks intense! Ha ha, do those first time mothers really expect their crawlers to be safe on their own?
Nah, you’d have to stand over your tiny ones and let the bigger kids tear around like they’re supposed to.
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I’m one of those first-time moms whose eyes widen when the big kid comes flying down the slide, feet straight for my precious son’s face.
I just move him out of the way, LOL. It *is* a good thing they’re squishy.
Is calling Mom out about illegal coffee a necessary step in making friends? Because I need my damn coffee.
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Jen Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I need my coffee too but apparently my children don’t think I need it.
Silly kids.
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Lol! You are right- think if we tried to make friends that way- by staring at them for four minutes than screaming at each other
Too funny
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Your disclaimer rocks. It’s totally true.
I laughed LOUDLY at the illegal coffee spill. Come on, how can you not bring your coffee in that place?
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Jen Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 3:54 pm
I don’t think they want you to bring coffee in those places so that it stays, you know, clean.
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I think this works in college too.
As per toddlers, I just told my daughter yo “go right back in there and reassert your authority.”
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Jen Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Exactly!
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I am the helicopter mom hovering around the play area yelling at any kid that even looks at my kid.
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I don’t play with kids either. I hate coloring, sandboxes, tag, finding bugs, and basketball. But I love vodka in my diet coke can while I watch them play.
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Jen Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I really wish that they included a car at those mall play areas because bringing my own is costing me a fortune.
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great tips, thanks again
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