“Jake, the color of that crayon is hot pink.” Claire said to her brother.
“Claire, no. It’s magenta.” Jake replied.
My back was facing them as they colored at the kitchen table so they couldn’t see me roll my eyes.
“Here we go,” I said under my breath as I loaded the dish I was washing off into the dishwasher.
Jake and Claire fight like an old married couple. They are in this almost constant state of bickering. It’s like they have a sickness that makes them not agree. There are times when they can be the best of friends, they love to play together but God help us all when they disagree.
I don’t know why I am surprised by this because even in the womb these two fought with each other. Jake took up residence on my right side and Claire had the left, preferring to be right under my rib cage. Jake was the biggest baby and naturally, thought that meant he deserved most of the room. He would try and get himself up in Claire’s space. She would have none of that and she would push him back over.
Back and forth they would go, trying to push each other out.
The movement in my belly felt like rocks rolling back and forth in a tight rubber sack. There were times I swore one of them was going to rip my skin open and pop out it was so violent looking. I wished there could have been some wall placed between them so that they couldn’t touch each other because yelling at my belly, “Stop touching your sibling” was really a waste of breath.
And where was Quinn when all this was happening, you might wonder?
Well, he was in there too, of course. He was just the baby on the bottom of it all. He held a horizontal position at the bottom of my belly and just braced himself there. He did, however, get smart towards the end of my pregnancy. He discovered some ‘unused space’ down south. Yup, he took up residence in my vagina to escape all the Jake and Claire fighting.
So he played the game, ‘how low can I go’ without falling out… which was oh so pleasant for me. Ever try walking around with a baby in your vagina that feels like he’ll fall out if you sneeze while two others push at each other? Yeah, I don’t recommend it.
“Jake, it’s hot pink!” Claire said right in Jake’s face.
“No! Magenta!” Jake said right back.
“Hot. Pink.” Claire said again.
“Ma.Gen.Ta!” Jake articulated.
“I color more, Jake. I know. It’s hot pink.” Claire said sternly.
“I learned my colors in school in my kindergarten class. It’s magenta.” Jake answered her.
“HOT PINK!” Claire screamed.
“MAGENTA!” Jake screamed back.
“HOT PINK!” Claire screamed louder.
“MAGENTA!” Jake screamed back at the top of his voice.
Finally, I couldn’t take it any more. I dropped the sippy cup that I was trying to open that just wouldn’t open in the sink and walked over to them.
I stood there with my hands on my hips just looking at them. My silence causing them both to still.
“Did you know that hot pink and magenta are basically the same color?!” I said through gritted teeth.
They both just looked at me.
“Also,” I said as I picked up the crayon in question, “This is red.”
This post is part of Writer’s Workshop… answering what is the last argument you had or witnessed.
Well, at least they will both stand up for what they believe? Gotta look at the positive here. ha!
Bwhahahah sounds like my boys fighting and they are all 3 years apart. Even funnier is they were both wrong lol..
Bahahahaha! I bet that shut them up!
And I love how your son hung out in your vagina at the end of your pregnancy. You’ll have to let him read this post one day. Or not. Probably not.
(P.S. No plans for BlogHer THIS year, but I’m totally going NEXT year. We’ll drink together. It’ll be awesome! xo)
Hahahahah! I’m sure in the moment you did not think this fight was at all funny, but it really is
I totally laughed out loud when you were talking about the 3rd baby – “So he played the game, ‘how low can I go’ without falling out… ” also not funny when it was happening, but your description now made me laugh. Great story! So glad I clicked over here from Mama Kat’s link party 
I’m your newest follower! Cant wait to read more!
I always thought it would be pretty cool to carry multiples. You’ve scared that out of me
Mom, the final say in Crayolas in question! LOL! So funny. I was minus the one in the vagina, but I do remember the boxing matches going on in my belly and feeling like A’s lil head was going to bust my hip and B ws trying to get in my rib cage to play the xylophone or something?! Whoa, amazing we survived those days, though I’m not entirely sure that things are easier now that they are on the outside….
BAM! Mommy knows everything is RIGHT SON!
I LOVE that you just popped in and shut them down!!
My hat is off to anyone who can survive three babies AT ONCE!
God bless you, and I enjoyed your post.
I can not even begin to understand how 3 babies can fit inside a women’s body. Crazy!! Also, we say that to my youngest 2 all the time – they fight like a married couple too!
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Lol! Well hey at least they both learned their colors in school right?
I cannot imagine having two boxing in my belly while one tries to find the escape route….all while dealing with a toddler. Super woman Jen, Super woman.
That sounds like my two (except they are 2 years apart.) I swear, one could say the sky is blue, and the other would say “grey” just to pick a fight!
Holy hell, I cannot imagine three kids rolling around in my belly. My first did enough of that on his own that he would scare off whatever stupid person sat next to the giant pregnant woman on the commuter train each evening! There’s a special place in heaven for moms like you…
Don’t you, just some days, want to melt all the crayons together, stir them up real good, let it cool, drop the big rock onto the table and be all “Well it’s BROWN now!”