“Kids, come here please. Mommy and Daddy need to talk to you,” I said calling the kids to the kitchen.
“Mom, you can just say ‘we’ and not ‘mommy and daddy’. We know who you are talking about,” Hayden said as he shuffled into the room.
“Sure honey, I guess you are right,” I said well in my mind I was thinking, ‘shut it, you smart ass kid’.
All four kids were now gathered in the kitchen. The news that we had to deliver was not good and I was struggling with what to say. Jeff on the other hand believes in being direct and got right to the point.
“Guy, we think Charlie is dead,” Jeff said.
I watched the faces of my precious babies sink and I could here their spirits crumbling. I glared at Jeff.
“Or he is gone,” I said quickly trying to recover.
The children just looked at us and I could see tears begin to form in Hayden and Quinn’s eyes. Oh my goodness, this was not going well.
“Ok guys,” I said again trying to save this conversation before each child was scared for life. “A couple days ago, I realized that I had not seen Charlie in a while. He just stopped coming home. So mommy and daddy, er we, think that Charlie is gone.”
“Yeah. Charlie is gone,” Jeff said with a softer tone, “And we don’t know if he is coming back. What do you guys think? What could have happened to him?”
Charlie has been our family pet since before we were a family.
Charlie came to live with Jeff after my sister hid him in her room at my parents house because she wanted a cat and my dad hates cats. When my dad ultimately found out, Charlie needed a new home and since Jeff and I were going to be getting married soon, Jeff took him.
This cat had been with us through three moves and allowed us to be ‘practice parents’ so that when our children came along we sorta knew what we were doing.
When we moved into our current house, we started letting Charlie go outside. We live in the woods, on multiple acres of land and what cat wouldn’t want to go out their to frolic? Charlie would go out all night and come home in the morning usually with some mouse or mole that he caught and decapitated during the night. That cat had a thing for decapitating small mammals.
It was on a Thursday evening that I realized that I had no seen or fed Charlie since Monday. My heart sank. What kind of kitty mom doesn’t notice her cat is gone for three days? I looked around the house in all his favorite hiding places but they turned up empty. I looked around outside and called his name but this time no meowing echoed my calls.
It was now almost two weeks since Charlie’s disappearance and Jeff and I felt it was time to tell the kids.
“Charlie could have got dead,” Claire said answering Jeff’s question.
“Yes,” I said. “Charlie could have gotten hit by a car, gotten into a fight with an animal or maybe he was sick and ran away to die in the woods.”
“Maybe he found another family,” Quinn added.
“Yeah. That could be true too,” Jeff said patting Quinn on the head. “Charlie could be living in a new house with better cat food.”
“Mom,” Hayden said tears now streaming down in face, “I want Charlie to live here. I miss him so much.”
I pulled my oldest son to me and he melted into me as a big miss of tears and sobs.
A part of me wanted to chuckle because it had been over two weeks since Hayden had even thought of Charlie but the other part of me ached for my son because he was sad and Charlie was such a good family cat.
I held Hayden as he cried and suddenly, Jake chimed in.
“I know what happened,” Jake said sternly, “I think a tornado came and pickeded up Charlie and whirled him to another place. So don’t be sad Hayden because when there is more tornadoes Charlie will come back to us.”
I couldn’t help but smile. Leave it to Jake to come up with a perfectly un-logical explanation.
We sat together talking about Charlie and remembering him. Jeff and I told the kids that a few years earlier Charlie had been gone for two weeks and then just returned one night. We told them there was hope but we also wanted them to be prepared because we didn’t think that this time he would be back.
Then we just sat in silence, hearts broken for the loss of our beloved cat.
Hayden abruptly pulled his head away from my chest and looked up at me, face wet with tears.
“Does this mean that since Charlie is dead, we can get a dog?” he asked.
I’m sorry you’ve lost your kitty. My first baby, our dog, won’t be with us that much longer and I can’t even imagine how we will sit the kids down and explain it all to them.
Minivan Mama´s last [type] ..22 Things I HAVE Done
I’m sorry about Charlie. I hope he comes back. We’ve had a cat for a long time, too, almost 14 years now. One time, my oldest asked, “Is Grey Kitty going to die soon?”. “I don’t think so”, I replied. “Well when he does, can we get a dog?” So apparently, this must be a normal sequence of events as far as kids are concerned.
C @ Kid Things´s last [type] ..Smurfette
Oh, gosh. I was feeling all misty and sad when Hayden had to go and make me laugh at the end of your post.
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last [type] ..Prank you. I mean, thank you.
Little kids are just so honest with their emotions. Sad to happy in 1.6 seconds flat.
Im so sorry about your Kitty, we understand the value of animals and pets in our homes! Thank you for sharing!
Bri Schaaf´s last [type] ..Goosebumps versus Godbumps
awwwwww… so sorry.
Losing a pet is always so hard
debi9kids´s last [type] ..I’m tired of being nice.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Our cat did the same thing a few years ago – wandered off and didn’t come home.
But after that cutie’s tear-soaked question? I give you a week before you bring a puppy home.
Ryan (The Woven MOments)´s last [type] ..If skunks do it, why can’t I?
Probably not. If it were just me, I would have a dog here now but my kids got to get to my husband first. He is not a dog lover.
Heart breaking and heart-breakingly beautiful the way you handled it. Here’s to holding out hope.
Mrs. D-Zo´s last [type] ..Hold On To Your Foreheads. The Mind Blowing Is About To Commence.
Thanks. It has been a little over 2 weeks now and I think that Charlie is gone for good.
Sorry about your cat.
Our pre-baby kitty dropped dead in front of both kids last winter. It was a terrible day in our house for all kinds of reasons.
Kim´s last [type] ..What I Know to be True
so sorry to hear that. We went through a similar situation with our ‘pet’ quails, and animal slaughtered them all. I told the kids they flew away though…
Krissee´s last [type] ..Brazil Diary – Mangal das Garcas
Aw, so sorry about your cat. This is sad! I hope for the sake of your family that he returns home soon healthy and happy, and if he doesn’t, I hope he rests in peace.
Anna´s last [type] ..Why is Marriage So Special?
Oh no. Pet losses are so hard. I think I would have been really tempted to just now say anything.
Jennifer´s last [type] ..Well I never
I am so sad for you guys. After a coyote walked away with my mother in laws dog in its mouth, I am terrified our cats are going to disappear too……………….
Momma´s last [type] ..The importance of cropping and editing your pictures
Aw. I absolutely dread the day when we have to tell my daughter that one of our cats has gone to the big litter box in the sky. I think pets are good for introducing children to some good lessons, but why do they have to be so hard on us too?
Carabee´s last [type] ..The Little Ballerina
You’re kids are brilliant. But you bring up a good point. People with outdoor cats have it so much easier when breaking the bad news to kids
Eruca´s last [type] ..File This Under: Things I Don’t Do
Sorry about Charlie, but I love that Hayden was like, can we get a dog? And how sweet that Jake came up with the tornado explanation. Such sweeties, they must have good parents or something.
Oh no!!! I am so sorry about the kitty!!
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation´s last [type] ..Intimacy with Sand
But what if Charlie WAS able to come home, but found a dog there? What then, Hayden?
Sad stuff, but you guys handled it well! Poor you.
Crazy Sister´s last [type] ..Another Day, Another Dollar. Except For the Dollar.
They actually have asked for a dog in front of Charlie. I kinda think that is why he left. He was like of hell on, I ain’t going to live with no dog.
My daughter is constantly saying to people in a hopeful tone…”When Piper (our 8 year old black lab) dies we are getting a cat.” Which is not true because my husband HATES cats.
I’m sorry for your loss and excited for the new puppy!
Julie Stephenson´s last [type] ..Goodwill Goodness…The Snowy Day
Sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a “family member”. Our dog, which I usually refer to as my brother, is already reaching the end of his rope. My mom will definitely be the one who’s going to affected if it happens, that’s why this Christmas, me and my sister’s already decided that if the time come’s we’ll go get a new “brother”.
jlem1125´s last [type] ..pregnancy diet
OH man I hate that he is missing. maybe he found a frisky little cat in the woods and they have set up housekeeping.. ya never know
Angel´s last [type] ..TTUT I am all over the place
You are right… you never know.
I just knew that dog thing was coming – he has been wanting one for years.
Sorry to hear about Charlie.
cat@juggling act´s last [type] ..The ambiguity of being 6
He has been asking for a very long time but the only new animal we will get is another cat, probably in the spring.
I’m so sorry about Charlie! It’s so hard to lose a kitty. Maybe he will come back, or maybe someone found him and took him to the shelter. The last time we lost one of our cats, the kids were too small to care. But it kills me that I know some woman has my cat and won’t give him back to me.
Alison´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday-Pumpkin Picking
So sorry for your loss, Jen. It’s so much harder when kids are involved. Maggie was 2 when we lost Nala, so we didn’t really have to explain anything to her. She would talk about her every once in a while, but Otis helped fill that void.
When we lost Otis earlier this year, Maggie was heartbroken, and it only took her an hour to ask about getting a puppy. She said, (and I’ll never forget this!), “I don’t like being a one dog family. Can we get a puppy?” And 2 months later, Wiconi was extremely annoyed that we brought home a true 2 month old puppy. She’s still annoyed, but used to him now
Maggie finds great comfort in the idea that Nala and Otis are now playing together in heaven.
Wendy´s last [type] ..Psalm 46:10
Kids are so resilient!
Susie’s Homemade´s last [type] ..A 41-Year-Old Woman…
Handling this topic with kids is soooo tricky! I’m sorry that Charlie is gone, but maybe there’s a bright side to the kids getting excited over the thought of a dog?
liz´s last [type] ..Show Me the Blog, Baby!
After B’s hamster died in the Spring it only took him one minute to ask for another hamster. Y’all did the right thing. Wondering if you will get another pet…
Elaine´s last [type] ..A Buggin’ Good Time! – #HEXBUGHalloween
I am so sorry to hear about Charlie. I hope he comes back, but he may very well have ran off to die…sorry. Animals tend to do that. On the brighter note maybe you and the kids can agree on a new pet, perhaps a cat or guinea pig or maybe even that dog…c’mon. I know how it feels to lose a pet, my cat Sidney had to be put to sleep a couple years ago because he got a UTI and after that he didn’t have any control over his bladder and he was just miserable. I did it for his own good, but gosh I miss him sometimes. Good luck…BTW I love Jake’s explanation (it’s funny, very unlogical, but he used his imagination and he’s seeing it with the glass half full)!
I love Jake’s explanation! Good luck answering that dog question now.
Elena´s last [type] ..The Greatest Show on Earth Giveaway
I am so sorry. I am just heartbroken for you guys. Hugs. I know this feeling so well. xoxo
tracy@sellabitmum´s last [type] ..Would you choose Matthew McConaughey or Gwen Stefani…
It is very sad to hear about Charlie. Life is a game, at a certain time it ends. Parents should teach their kids about life’s reality and make them brave to handle any type of adversities.
Rodrigo Valenzuela´s last [type] ..Consejos : como vestirse para seducir a un hombre
Awe that is so sad! But kind of funny they didn’t even notice for two weeks
Emmy´s last [type] ..Proud Mommy Moments: Steps