I barely heard the small meek call from the back seat and I knew that Quinn was trying to get my attention.
“Ok, everyone hush,” I said to Jake and Claire who were loudly discussing why bear’s butts can’t fly in the sky, “It’s Quinn’s turn to talk.”
I turned the radio down and prepared to listen.
“Mommy, I need to go potty,” he said barely audible because that is how Quinn is.
“Seriously?!” I asked.
“Yes, mommy,” Quinn said while nodding his head.
“Quinn,” I began, “We just left the house and I asked you to pee before we left. Why didn’t you go when I asked you too?”
“Mommy.” Quinn said. “Because I didn’t have to go then.”
I wanted to bang my head on the steering wheel but thought being unconscious was probably not the best way to drive the van. This is always happening. It never fails, we leave the house and five minutes later someone has to go potty.
“Quinn. You are just going to have to hold it. We will be there in about 20 minutes,” I said.
I turned the radio back up which gave Jake and Claire the cue they needed to finish their very important discussion.
Soon a groovy song came on the radio and I was bouncing my head to the beat. Sure it was on the kid’s radio station but when there is a beat, I just gotta dance.
Again, a barely audible call came from the back of the van.
“What Quinn?” I asked.
“Mommy, I can’t hold it. I have to go… NOW!” Quinn said in a voice that was bigger than normal.
“Quinn there is nothing I can do. There are no bathrooms around here,” I said.
“But mommy…” Quinn said and through the rear view mirror I could see the panic in his eyes and knew this was a pee emergency.
Of course this would have to happen on the stretch of road where there was no where to stop. I peered into the trash can and wondered if maybe there was a cup or something that he could pee into.
Then I had a thought, “too bad he was potty trained. If he was still in diapers this wouldn’t be an issue. I wounder if I could get the kids to once again wear diapers in the car? Then they could just pee and not have to ride in the car with a full bladder feeling every painful bump in the road and I wouldn’t have to worry about any pee accidents in the back of the van.”
“MOMMY!” Quinn shouted.
“Fine,” I said putting my hazard lights on and pulling off on the side of the road.
I got out of the van and opened the door for Quinn, “Here jump out and go pee.” I said pointing to a spot in the ditch.
As Quinn pulled his pants all the way down because little boys are incapable of pulling their pants down just a little ways, I hoped all the on coming traffic wouldn’t mind the sight of the ‘full moon’ they were getting.
Most people didn’t pay any attention to us but a couple cars honked and gave me dirty looks. I smiled and waved them on saying under my breath, “Whatever. It’s just a little boy peeing here.”
Finally, after what seemed like forever because I swear Quinn has the bladder the size of his head, we were back in the car and on our way to the store.
The rest of the ride was uneventful as was the walk into the store.
I began my shopping, the kids following behind me when suddenly, “Mommy, I hafta go potty.”
I turned around to Claire dancing around in the aisle, holding herself.
“Oh fine,” I said, “Let’s go find the bathroom.”
Quinn walked side by side with me as Jake and Claire ran on ahead. Since we were at our local grocery store the way to the bathroom was well known.
I held the door as the kids spilled in, screaming to hear their echos through the room. I smiled at the people washing their hands and asked the kids to talk quietly.
Since Quinn didn’t have to go and wanted to stay out by the cart full of groceries, I danced back and forth between watching him outside of the bathroom and watching Jake and Claire inside.
“Come, guys hurry up.” I called.
“I’m done, mommy,” Jake yelled as he pushed open the door and began to wash his hands.
“Ok, mommy but I have to pooooop” Claire said with a big grunt and then followed with, “Come on poop! Get out of my butt!”
I smiled at the woman who had just entered the restroom, Claire’s grunts still ringing in the echo.
“Ok just hurry and come when you are done,” I said turning my attention back to the boys.
“I am done now mommy,” Claire said before I could leave, “The poop came out but got a little on the floor. I cleaned it up all by myself.”
As the woman washing her hands gave me a horrified look, I thought to myself… “Yup, we are totally going back to diapers.”