Mommy guilt is something that most mothers deal with. I say most mothers because I try not the let it get to me. I feel that I can keep all that guilt bottle up and pushed down. I don’t let it come out. Let me share some examples from a typical day at my house.
Quinn did not eat any breakfast because he did not like what I made for him.
Did I feel guilty?
No. I am not a short order cook. You eat what I make or you will wait until the next meal.
Jake climbed up onto the cupboard and was playing with all the baking ingredients and then almost fell but didn’t because I came into the room just at the right moment.
Did I feel guilty?
Not really. I wasn’t watching him as closely as I should because I was on the computer but he should not be climbing on chair and standing on the cupboard.
Claire had a major tantrum during lunch that ended up in her room and I slammed the door three times because it wouldn’t close and screamed at her at the top of my lungs making things worse and scaring her.
Did I feel guilty?
A little bit because I shouldn’t scare my child and a picture fell off the wall and broke.
Claire had another even bigger, even loader tantrum when I did not pick the right shoes for her. She wanted to wear a pair that was way too small. I was so frustrated with her tantrum and lack of reason that I slapped her.
Did I feel guilty?
Well, sorta. I hate it when I loose my temper. I should be able to control myself and my reactions. I am the adult after all.
During the chaos of the day and all the tantrums, Hayden very quickly got his shoes on and ran into the car after I asked and then said, “Did I do a good job, Mom? Are you not mad at me? I listened and obeyed very fast.”
Did I feel guilty?
You bet your ass. I felt so guilt that I almost cried. For the most of the day, he had taken the brunt of my frustration with his siblings. It was not fair. All I could do was hug him and say, “Yes Hayden, you did a great job. Thank you for making me so happy.”
I guess mommy guilt effects us all. Some days are just filled with more guilt than others. And that is why I keep a well stocked wine rack and hug and kiss the kids more the next day.
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