Two weeks ago, my life completely changed.
I knew that this change was coming and I was really excited about it.
But now, after living with this for a couple of weeks, I realize that I have been effected in ways that I never thought possible.
The change that happened in my life… well, I am now an empty nester.
Ok, fine not really because my children didn’t all grow up to be adults over the summer and leave my house for good but because of school they do leave my house for a most of the day, leaving me with an empty nest.
Of course, my nest fills up again at 4pm but that is besides the point.
I am now a mother of 4 school aged children who leave me to my own devices from 8am to 4pm every single day.
Now before you all throw stones at me and wish that you could be in my shoes, I am going to stop and say that I am not complaining about this.
It’s nice to be alone. It’s wonderful not have to rush through a shower because someone is putting peanut butter on the cat. It’s fabulous to be able to have a phone conversation without someone screaming in the background like their arm is being pulled off. And it’s heaven to be able to sit down and read a book without rereading the same sentence over and over because I had to get up 12 times to get someone juice.
No, I am not complaining.
It’s just that after being (semi… semi because I work part time) full time mom for 8 years, all this ‘me time’ is a bit overwhelming.
I feel a little lost. I find myself pouring sippy cups just because and not flushing the toilet because well, that’s how am I used to seeing the toilets… full of shit.
And I need to blare music through the house because the silence makes me uncomfortable.
Yes, the idea of being home all the time without kids is wonderful but the reality, well, that is a little scary. And I now understand why some woman decided to have another baby after all their kids are in school or at the very least get a puppy. When you are used to the non-stop chaos of children and then it suddenly ends because of school… talk about your mental breakdown.
But this is my life now.
My kids need to go to school because I am not going to school them at home and I have to get used to being by myself. I am not going to lie, the first few days of this were rough and I spent time trying to make the kids think they were sick so that one of them could be home with me.
“Oh honey, that hang nail is pretty bad. I think you better stay home today,” I would say.
Thankfully, my kids are smart and they would just run and get a bandaid and all was well.
I am getting used to being home alone. The days are filling up and I am finding other moms in my same situation and we are doing lunch. I am a lady of doing lunch. I can write without being distracted and I even decided to signed up for a humor writing class.
This is a time for me. I can once again put time and energy into my dreams. I can breath life into old passions and pursue new ones. The world is my oyster, as long as I am at the bus stop buy 4pm to get the kids, there is nothing I can’t do.
I know it sounds silly but somehow, I convinced myself that I was done being a mother when I had all my kids in school. I realized that is far from the truth. I am still a mother, I will always be a mother. It’s just that my mothering is changing and in a lot of ways becoming more complicated.
But the big question is still out there… what do I do all day?
Well, nothing is set is stone and it’s a little different each day.
Honestly, I am still trying to figure it out and I have yet to tackle that project list I have been making for last few years.
But here is a glimpse at my typical day (in no real order).
1. “Hi, I’m Mom! And I will be your short order cook.”
2. Ah, look… cats in a box… so cute!
3. Looking fabulous while driving
4. Walk by pile of toys and think, “Man, someone needs to clean that up”
5. Watching my most favorite show of all time… “Charmed” with Twitter and coffee
6. “Huh, I wonder if these dog costumes would fit my cats. Cats love being dressed up.”
7. Dinner making and laundry
8. Making shadows puppets while walking
9. Playing ‘Mom Taxi’
So if you are new to this ‘all kids in school’… how are you filling your time? And don’t say cleaning because I am not cleaning. Never have, never will.
This post if part of Writer’s Workshop
I have to say, I’m a bit envious.
~ If I ever make it to where you’re at now, I hope to start a money making endeavor that works on my terms. Maybe like the blog on steroids? For now though, I’ll be hanging in barefoot and pregnant land (much to my chagrin) and maybe even catch an episode or two of charmed when the mood hits me (if the matchbox car slung across the room from the three year old doesn’t hit me first). 
~
I have sex a LOT more. I cook nicer dinners, I walk the dog for longer because it’s nice out. I blog, I tweet, I facebook, I blog, I tweet I facebook. I watch tv. I shop, I fold laundry, I clean…. yep I do. And then I say damn it’s time for the kids to come home already? But I was having fun……..
I love every second of my parole
I mean day.
I am completely with you on this. My kids aren’t gone all day every day but with my baby starting preschool I find myself looking at him in the mornings and wondering if he REALLY needs to go anywhere or if I can just keep him home snuggling with me.
Sigh. I can’t wait to be paroled full time! I’ve got years to go still though before that happens!
I’m one of those that had another baby (though not to avoid alone time!), but I’d still be working full time if she hadn’t come along – so although my days are still filled with diapers and snacks while the older kids are at school, it beats the day being filled with boring office work!
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I just got let off the hook for the whole day too. People kept asking if I’d shed a tear when I dropped of the littlest for school…. didn’t they hear me whooping as I crossed the playground? It’s great, BUT it also comes at a time when we’re totally skint, brassic, penniless. So, no ladies who lunch for me. I’m trying to get a business off the ground and applying for jobs at the same time (trying to cover all bases). Seems I’m getting to be pretty much unemployable in the mainstream job market having taken 7 yrs out and being 46….. jeez, somewhere in that kiddie looking after slot I’ve turned middle aged – how did that happen…. anyhow, if you find yourself bored of an afternoon I’m on twitter
Tim and I had a lovely lunch JUST the two of us yesterday. We plan to have lunch together at least once a month. It IS quiet around here when all the kids are at school but I like that…
Um, I’m not going to throw rocks or anything, but I’m kinda jealous. My daughter just started PreK and I LOVE it. But what to do with the other one? The one that’s always demanding juice, Barney, and butt wiping?
I think I needed to read this today so that I can start cherishing this time rather than wishing it away. It’ll be gone before I know it. And I’ll definitely have a party, but then I might start to get a little lonely.
I’ll trade you one “unflushed shit in the toilet” for one “lego through the bottom of my bare foot”?! Glad you are making the most of *your* time!
*clickin’ in from MamaKat*
I sometimes almost find it too quiet with just one at home now.. I can’t even imagine how it will really feel once all are in school. I think I will enjoy it and have a hard time with it all at the same time
I’m pretty sure I would nap. It sounds like the perfect time to catch up on all the sleep you’ve missed the last 8 1/2 years.
I still have one in the nest and one out, but I can understand what you’re saying. I’ve found myself hollering at the kids, only to realize only one is here and he’s not getting into trouble (silence = trouble) but he’s enjoying a show or toy to himself without fighting.
Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it! It will all be okay…
Trust me, you will learn to love this time. Sounds like you are already on your way! I try not to fill it with more than 30 minutes of cleaning. The rest I fill with hobbies (cooking and photography) and if I have to, I’ll run some errands.
That sounds wonderful….I can’t even imagine how I’d fill my days. My husband and I are CONTEMPLATING having me stay home after baby #3 arrives. My older two are already in school…so I’d have my days with one child. But still…I have a lot of anxiety about not working full time and trying to fill my time at home. I know myself and I worry I’ll just get into a bad habit of laying on the couch 5 hours a day watching junk TV and feeling like all my intelligence is draining out of me.
Lunch sounds good…I’ll have to find other moms who are in a similar spot in life. Otherwise I’m sure I’ll talk my husband’s ear off every day when he gets home because I’ll be starving for adult interaction.
Oh man… I wish I had the luxury to do as I please all day… And I don’t even have kids, so I have no excuses!
Visiting from Mama Kat’s.
I just caught myself this morning having these thoughts as I drove past a doting mother and her toddler out on a walk.
Then I snapped back to reality, drove home, and took a nap.