A Family Complete

“Well, I guess I will go and make an appointment to get my stuff snipped,” Jeff said to me.

It was a Friday evening in December. Hayden was staying the night at  Nonna’s house and Jeff and I were suppose to be getting ready for his work’s Christmas party.

Earlier that morning, we had been at my doctor’s office for an ultrasound.

The ultrasound confirmed my pregnancy but showed us something that we never dreamed could happen…. triplets. Or as our doctor put it, “Looks like you hit the jack pot!”

Through the rest of the appointment we were both in a stunned silence. Out in the parking lot, I tried to talk to Jeff but no words came out and we went our separate ways.

“You will what?!” I asked his statement catching me off guard.

“I will call and make an appointment for a vasectomy. We were just told we are having triplets and that is triple the amount of kids we were hoping for. We are done,” Jeff clarified.

I understood where he was coming from. He is a man after all and very practical. If you don’t want anymore kids, you do something permanent so no more kids come.

“Can you at least wait until I have the babies. I am not even 8 weeks along. So much could happen. There is just so much up in the air right now,” I said.

“Fine. When they are born and before you come home, I am going to get a snipping,” he said.

“Let’s just wait. What is something happens after they are born. I would hate to loose them all and not have any chance of having any other children,” I said.

We continued to debate the matter but one thing that rang true was that triplets plus one, four kids, was our limit. We didn’t want any more children.

To make a long story short, I ended up getting my tubes tied during my c-section. Jeff still says he is willing to get a vasectomy to make real sure that we don’t have another child but I am thinking we are good.

When I was growing up, I always told people that I wanted to have six kids.

The reason, six was my favorite number.

I gave no thought to whether I could handle that many children or what it would mean to be a mother of six. As time past and I actually spent time with children, I knew that there was no way I could be a mother to six kids.

When Jeff and I began to talk of having children, he always said that two was his limit. He grew up in the family with two kids and just thought that worked. He said he liked the ‘man on man’ style of parenting.

I always thought that I wanted four kids but when met with all the challenges of infertility and going through hell to actually get pregnant, I knew that I could only go through it two times.

That is why having triplets was the best compromise that Jeff and I ever made. We had two pregnancies which is what he wanted and we got four children which is what I wanted.

I am not really sure he thinks this was such a great compromise but the kids have grown on him.

Now that my kids are seven, four, four and four, I am not going to lie and say that I don’t think about how awesome it would be to have another baby. Sometime my heart yearns for a baby so badly, I can hardly stand it.

To be pregnant one more time where I could actually enjoy it without having it be my first time or high risk.

To have just one baby that I could just snuggle and hold for hours on end would be awesome.

But then my brain kicks in and tells me that another baby, a 5th child, would mean a bigger van, a bigger house, new baby stuff because the triplets destroyed all the old stuff and being more out numbered than I am right now. It would also means the complete loss of any sanity that I have left.

No, I am done. When it comes down to it, I reached my favorite number with my family of six and that makes me happy.

And besides, there are always sister-in-laws and friends who will have babies specifically for me to hold and cuddle. I know, I have asked them.

Now I’m curious to know: How and when do you decide your family is complete? Join the conversation and be entered to WIN the designer handbag of your choice (Up to a $500 value) from Essure!

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Essure. The opinions and text are all mine. Official Contest Rules.

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Comments

  1. I have 5 and am reaching the age where I am feeling a bit too old for more.

    I guess I will know I am done when I go through menopause. LOL :-)
    susie@newdaynewlesson´s last blog post ..

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  2. I think you just know. I only have two, but I feel like our family is complete. My oldest is 4.5 and he’s ready to big kid stuff and our baby is almost 2. It’s bittersweet to put the baby years behind me, but I think I’ll just borrow a baby to snuggle as often as possible.
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  3. I’ve always thought I wanted 3. My husband wants 2… but I’m starting to lean towards 4…. Who knows! (I grew up in a house with 2 girls and 2 boys… I kind of loved it!) :)
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  4. I commented above but do not see it…do you?

  5. My husband and I have five daughters between us. His three, 26, 27, & 28, mine/ours, 19, he adopted her at 10, and one ours, 5, adopted via foster-adopt. I struggle with this almost daily. There is such a big age difference between the older girls and our baby girl that I would like just one more.

    He says that I said that the last time…
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  6. I’ve always wanted four. I may be able to settle for 3…I’m still not sure. I just know that I am not done being pregnant yet, you know? So, you can come and cuddle my soon-to-be bun in the oven (hopefully) when I totally lose my sanity and am sleep deprived. ;)

  7. I wish I knew. You see, we’re a blended family. We have twin 5 year old boys, but you see, I didn’t have them. They are my husband’s, and while we are full time parents, their mother is still slightly involved. I’m terribly happy with them, and we can’t decide if we want more or not. Or maybe that is the two miscarriages talking.

    I always said I didn’t want kids. And if I did, I’d adopt.

    I still think about adoption and fostering.

    What our family will look like, I have no idea, but I don’t think we’re done.
    Beth´s last blog post ..

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  8. I do think it would be kind of fun to read about you having another baby…! Have one for me?

    I don’t know how I’ll know when my family is complete- I just know that it’s not yet. I’m hoping that I will just have a feeling?

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