A Boy or A Girl?

This is Hayden.

He is five years old and goes to kindergarten. He is sweet and sensitive.  He loves art and video games. He loves to go swimming and play outside in the mud. He likes to learn about how things work. He likes to build things with Legos. He is a great big brother to his younger siblings. He likes to help his mommy cook and he likes to play Wii with his Daddy.

But there are somethings that Hayden likes that doesn’t really fit into the mold of a little boy.

Hayden loves to play dress up and wear pretty dresses and high heeled shoes. He loves to watch movies about Princesses and he really, really hopes that for his birthday he will get a  Barbie doll.

At home, we have a pretty gender neutral house. The kids have a wide variety of toys to play with. Claire can play with the trucks and cars and the boys can play with baby dolls and the dress up clothes. For the most part, the little kids play with a mix of toys but usually Claire sticks with her dolls and Jake and Quinn lean more towards trucks.

And then there is Hayden. Very rarely will you find him playing with cars and trucks, he much prefers to play with Claire’s doll house or her Little Pony’s.

He has always been like this. He has always gravitated towards the girl toys. For example, when McDonald’s has a choice for a boy toy and girl toys, Hayden will choose the girl toy about 90% of the time.

I honestly, don’t have an issue with this. I just want my children to be happy and if it makes Hayden happy to play with princess dolls then that if fine by me.  But this does not fit into what society says little boys should play with.

Now that Hayden is in school, he is no longer just playing in the safety of home. He is interacting more with other kids his own age. And I hear the comments and giggles that he gets when he proudly shows off his new princess doll toy.

This kills me to see him look sad and sometimes ashamed at his choice. It hurts me when I have to literally crush his dreams of having a Barbie doll cake at his birthday party because all the other kids won’t understand and will laugh at him. I don’t like having to disappoint him when I tell him that he can’t wear a dress out of the house.

In the safety of our home, we can be gender neutral but the world is not. I am just trying to protect him. But I think that I may be going at it the wrong way. I don’t want to force him into something or someone that he is not but I also want him to have friends and be excepted. I just want him to be happy.

I am just not sure how to handle this anymore. I often wonder, is this something that other little boy’s go through? How to their mommy’s handle this? What are your thoughts?

We all know how cruel the world can be to those who are different and I really want to save my son from any and all of this.

Related posts:

1. The Best Gift A Little Boy Could Get?
2. A Few Words About Happy Meal Toys
3. Writer’s Workshop: The Boy that Won’t Quit
4. It’s Tough Being A Girl
5. I Think I May Have Created A Monster

Tagged as: Gender Issues, Parenting