The Top Five Most Annoying Trends from My Children at the Moment

I don’t really consider myself a trendy person but there are some trends that I would like to discuss today. No, not the beach waves hair, neon makeup or the leggings as pants trends.

I want to discuss some trends that have come from my children because let’s face it, that is about as trendy as I get these days.

Here are the top five most annoying trends from my children at the moment.

stop petting meWe live with cats, I do not understand my children’s need to constantly pet me. Hugs, I like. Petting, not so much.

mom on twitterHow my children learned about Twitter, I am not so sure. It’s supposed to be my thing. Not theirs.

what's for dinner grossI always tell them if they don’t like what I make for dinner then they can make it. They of course think this is awesome and we end up eating pop-tarts and cat food for dinner.

kids making angry demandsAll I ask for is a simple ‘please’. That’s it. I know they have manners, I see them use them with other people but with me, their mother… I get an evil laugh.

mommy and daddy timeThis is just poor timing and poor planning and the fact that some alarm goes off in their heads just as mommy is about to…  Yeah, this is just not good.

So what are some annoying trends from your kids?

 *this post is part of Writer’s Workshop*

Coffee Shops are No Place for My Children

I really enjoy going to the coffee shop. I just like the sights, the sounds, the coffee… the whole experience just makes me happy. Whether it’s a quick in and out caffeine hit or a lingering visit including my computer, the coffee shop brings me joy.

I think that is why I wanted to share this with my children. If something makes me happy, it is only natural  that I would want to share it with the ones that I love most in the world.

coffee shop and children

We descended upon the unknowing quiet coffee shop for an afternoon snack after playing. I was exhausted and needed my afternoon caffeine hit which I would regret at 12am when I was still wide awake.

“Ok, guys,” I said, “we are going to go into this coffee shop to get some snacks and hot chocolate but there are people here reading and studying, doing quiet things so please try to be quiet.”

The children all nodded at me in agreement.

“QUIET GAME!” one of the children yelled as I opened the door announcing our presence.

“YAY!!!” the other children yelled in agreement, “QUIET GAME!”

I shook my head for when they play the quiet game, no one is ever really quiet. Well, they are quiet for a minute until someone makes the smallest noise and then someone tells them they are out but that noise maker disagrees and the quiet game turns into a screaming match that can be heard seven counties over.

“Shhhh….” I hissed, “No. No quiet game. Just be still.”

I herded them all over to the counter, scanning the menu to find out what choices I could offer.

“What drinks do you have that would be good for kids?” I asked the barista.

“Well, we have hot chocolate or we can make Italian sodas,” she answered.

“HOT CHOCOLATE!” the children screamed, jumping up and down.

“Shhh…” I hissed.

I could feel the glares and eye rolls on my back from other people in the shop. I needed to get food in their mouths if I wanted to keep them quiet.

“We have regular hot chocolate or a caramel mocha, white chocolate raspberry, dark chocolate…” the barista began.

I tried to stop her. That was too many choice…  And the children had heard them all.

“Mommy, I want caramel hot chocolate, no regular, no white raspberry, no… um… regular…” the chorus from the children began.

It was on now, the only thing I could do was get out a pencil and paper I write down each child’s specific choice.

Once each child had ordered, I ask the eldest to find a table so that I could pay. I sent them on their way with their choices of bagel, donut, cookie and bananas knowing that if they were eating, they wouldn’t disturb others too much.

“Your total is $34.59″ the barista told me.

I coughed and stared at her in shock,  ”I’m sorry… you said 34 as in dollars?”

“$34.59″ she corrected.

I could hear the children once again getting restless so I just swiped my card. “These hot chocolates better be laced with sedatives for them to be that expensive,’ I mumbled under my breath.

One by one the drinks appeared and I delivered each small steaming cup to each child with the warning, “Don’t drink it yet. It’s hot and it will need to cool.”

As I turned to grab the last cup, I heard the sound of liquid hitting the floor.

“Mommy, it was hot.” was the response the child gave me who was now sitting on a chair in the middle of a hot chocolate pool.

If my hands hadn’t been carrying coffee, I would have face palmed.

“Did any get on you?” I asked as my first concern was for the child’s safety?

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “B-b-b-but my hot chocolate is gone. I didn’t get to drink any.”

And with that he let out a wail that echoed through the shop. I could feel the level of people’s anxiety and annoyance rise. So I did the only thing I could do.

I mom’d the situation.

I scooped up the wailing child and shoved a donut hole into his mouth to muffle the wail. I picked up the empty cup from the floor, licked it clean and divided the three remaining hot chocolates equally four ways and gave the owners of those drinks my ‘if you want to see your next birthday you will be happy about sharing’ look. I took eighty million tiny square napkins and mopped up the pool of hot chocolate on the floor. Then I sat down as with my children to enjoy my coffee and the coffee shop I love so much.

My coffee…

That’s when I realized in the chaos I had not remembered my coffee, the soul reason I wanted to share my love of the coffee shop with my children.

From now on, I am just going to keep the coffee shop for me and share my love of naps with my children.

That seems a little less messy.

 

 

A Week in Photos

photo (8)

It’s been an interesting week in our world, lots of adventures, happens and a still moment or two… I thought I’d just let the pictures tell the stories.  storms ahead, but sun is never far behind  1…2…3…4… Let’s have a stick war “wow… look at all the pretty me’s”  a bubble as big as your [...]

[Continue reading...]

French Kiss me, Mom!

kiss_729-620x349 (1)

“What is french kissing?’ Hayden asked one evening when he was supposed to be writing his spelling words. I stopped doing the dishes and turned to face him, “Um… um…” I stumbled. I wasn’t exactly sure how to answer that question and there was part of me that was screaming “NO! My baby can’t be [...]

[Continue reading...]

I LOVE that Song!

When I used to get home from school, I would burst into the house, throw my backpack in my room and run to turn on the little  TV  in the kitchen. I fumbled with the remote and keyed in the channel. The previous show was finishing the last commercial break. I would make myself a snack, popcorn, [...]

[Continue reading...]

Being Married to a Directionally Challenged Wife

directionsimage (1)

I have a terrible sense of direction. Not so terrible that I couldn’t find my way out of a paper bag but pretty damn close. I took a map reading class in college for one of my PE credits and I had to take it three times because I just couldn’t pass it and ended up dropping [...]

[Continue reading...]

How I Know My Daughter will be a Good Mother… Someday

photo (2) (1)

My darling daughter, I know that you are aware tomorrow is Mother’s Day. You have been making cards and pictures nonstop for about a week now and I love every single drawing you made. Especially the card where you wrote, “Mom and Dad, I hope you know to love me the most.” The cuteness is [...]

[Continue reading...]

What Babies Think About ‘Baby Talk’

photo (1)

Babies hold an interesting power over adults. Babies can stop a serious adult conversation mid sentence just by entering the room. Babies have this way of making adults do what ever they want. Babies also make adults do ridiculous things. Like making a group of grown woman suddenly bust out in ‘baby talk’. I gotta wonder… what do [...]

[Continue reading...]

Watching Soap Operas

photo

My mom has been sick, so sick that she landed herself in the hospital but not the hospital that I work at, a different one. For the past couple of days, my life has consisted of working at a hospital, going home, going to another hospital, going back home and so on and so forth. [...]

[Continue reading...]

He Won’t Marry Me

photo (2) (1)

“What was that?” I asked mainly of myself since Jeff as wearing headphones playing a game. I didn’t expect a response and he only glanced up as I walked up the stairs. I had heard a loud thump which I thought maybe was a child jumping around instead of being in bed sleeping. When I [...]

[Continue reading...]